Page 140 of Captivated

They told me I was unlovable. Unworthy of love. That God couldn’t bear who I was.

Nate forced himself to take a deep breath.

You’re better than this.

He braced his arms against the countertop, his head bowed. Memories washed over him, recollections of that morning in Montana when he’d decided enough was enough. When he’d taken that huge step.

Yeah, what he was experiencing right then was definitely a backwards one.

“Nate.”

He straightened. “Sorry. I was having a moment.” He glanced at Dad standing in the doorway. “Coffee’ll be right out.”

“Actually, that’s what I want to talk to you about—these moments of yours. Bring the coffee into the living room when it’s ready.” Then he turned and walked away.

There was something in Dad’s voice he couldn’t quantify, but it made the skin on Nate’s arms pebble and the hairs stand to attention.

As soon as the coffeepot finished beeping, he poured two cups, added creamer to his own, and carried them into the living room. The TV was silent, and that was enough to send a shiver through him.

That wasn’t the only indicator something was up. There had been the phone call earlier when Dad had shut the door. A very long call.

What’s going on?

Dad patted the seat cushion beside him on the couch. “Come sit.”

Nate joined him, clasping his hands in his lap because at least that kept them still. “You look so serious.” The butterflies in his stomach were having a square dance by the feel of it.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since we spoke a few days ago.” Dad stared into his coffee. “You remember I said I’d try to help you?”

Nate pasted on a smile he didn’t feel. “You’ve found a magic lamp.”

Dad chuckled. “Not exactly.” He turned his head toward Nate, his eyes bright. “I think it’s time you left the nest.”

He stilled. “You… you want me to move out?”

Nate took shallow breaths, a tingling in his chest, adrenaline shooting through him.

I can’t. I’m not ready for that.

“Yes, but before you have a full-on meltdown, you need to realize I won’t be throwing you out onto the streets. In fact, I’ve already arranged a new home for you—if you like the idea.” He smiled. “And something tells me you’ll love it.”

Nate stared at him, a fluttering in his stomach, his chest tight.

He can’t mean…

“Okay, hear me out before you say anything.” Dad put his cup down and took Nate’s hand in his. “I’ve been talking to Robert Thorston about the possibility of you moving to Salvation. He’s discussed it with Toby and a couple of others, and they’ve agreed, with a few provisos. You’d be one of the hands, but with a difference. You’d work mostly with the horses.” Dad smiled. “I thought you might like that part. But you’d also continue to do your illustrations. They’d like your illustrations too.”

Nate blinked. “Seriously?”

Dad nodded. “They want you to sketch and paint Salvation, then allow them to put them on the website. They’d pay you, of course, but they’d get unlimited use of the artwork to put on mailers, cards, their newsletter, things like that. And they’d make sure you had a space to work in. You’d receive food and lodging. That might be in the bunkhouse initially, but they’re working on that. And it isn’t as if you wouldn’t see me.” His eyes twinkled. “I’ll still be going there regularly to spend a week at the Leather Barn.” He gave Nate’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I figure twenty-six is a good age to leave home.”

His pulse quickened, and it felt as though his whole body was vibrating.

“What about Dr. Lacey? My therapy?”

Dad sighed. “I spoke with him yesterday. We both agree that you’ve gone as far as he can take you. He thinks this new perspective would help. He would be available to speak with Sol, or with you, if you need to reach out to him. And Sol would be there for you.” He bit his lip. “It’s my personal opinion, however, that the best therapy for you is Montana’s open skies, horses—and a certain cowboy.”

Nate’s heartbeat raced. “Does he know about this?”

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