Heat surged through him when he considered where else Zeeb’s dick might go.
Then awareness hit him with full force, a sucker punch to the gut, and he caught his breath.
Oh. OH.
“Hey.” Zeeb rubbed his eyes. “You okay?”
Nate managed a shaky laugh. “Better than okay.” He snuggled up against Zeeb’s side, about to lay his head on Zeeb’s chest. When he hesitated, Zeeb smiled.
“You’re okay. Do it.”
Nate rested his head on Zeeb’s furry chest, his hand on Zeeb’s stomach. “I guess you could say I just experienced an epiphany.”
Zeeb’s arm was around him. “Can you let me in on it? Not that I’m all that good at dealin’ with epiphanies before I’ve had my first cup of coffee.”
“I was lying here, contemplating…” He hesitated for a second, then thought better of it. Hell, there was no reason to be coy, not after the previous night. “I was thinking about sex.”
Zeeb chuckled. “Sounds like a good way to wake up.”
Nate propped himself up on his elbow and gazed at Zeeb. “You don’t understand. I was thinking about touching you, sucking you off…” His cheeks were suddenly on fire. “And other… activities. But that’s not what I’m talking about. What is absolutely earth-shattering about those thoughts is my reaction to them. I didn’t shut them down. I didn’t shift into fight-or-flight mode.” He looked Zeeb in the eye. “Some part of my brain finally decided it’s okay for me to want you.”
The morning light caught in Zeeb’s eyes, but his smile was all the sunshine Nate needed.
“I’m so happy to hear that,” he said, his voice soft.
Nate laid his head back down again, feeling the reassuring beat of Zeeb’s heart. “In case I forgot to tell you…I loved what we did.”
“I’d have loved it even more if I could’ve returned the favor,” Zeeb grumbled.
He chuckled. “I’ve only gotten this far because of your patience. So you’ll have to be patient a while longer. Then we can see about you doing your job.”
Zeeb frowned. “My job?”
Nate flashed what he hoped was a sultry smile. “Yeah, we can test out your ridin’ skills, Cowboy.”
Flirting was new to him, but he already liked the way it made him feel. The hitch in Zeeb’s breathing was even better.
“What is it about first thing in the morning that helps you see things clearly?” Nate wondered aloud.
“You’ve given your brain a rest, that’s what.” Zeeb stroked Nate’s shoulder. “Something else goin’ on in that head of yours?”
“Yeah. I can see now why I was so nervous about getting physical with you.”
Zeeb huffed. “Doesn’t take a genius to know that. You found yourself in a place designed to make you feel broken. It’s been a slow climb out of that hell hole but you did it. That don’t mean the guilt and shame they made you feel disappears just like that. Okay, so you’re puttin’ it all behind you, but that kinda experience leaves its mark. I guess what you’d call emotional residue.” He chuckled. “An’ there I go using big words again.”
“That’s a big part of it,” Nate affirmed. “Maybe I was afraid my emotional baggage would be too much.”
“You mean too much for me to handle?” Another huff. “Sweetheart, never in a million years.”
“Something occurred to me yesterday at that supper,” Nate admitted.
“A lot of things occurred to me, and I intend to say a few things next time I see those bastards I work with.” The growl in Zeeb’s voice made him tingle. “But what was this thought of yours?”
“I realized I was waiting to not be scared—to be completely healed—before I told myself I deserved… being intimate withyou. And if I was ever going to touch someone the way I wanted to, then I had to get past those feelings.”
Zeeb pressed his lips to Nate’s hair, then stiffened. “Ow.”
Nate craned his neck. “Are you okay?”