Page 60 of Captivated

He walked to the edge quickly before he could think too hard. Before he could change his mind.

Nate’s skin tingled. He could feel his old patterns rising, clawing at him.

Don’t draw attention.

Don’t be weird.

Don’t be seen.

His decision of the previous night pushed against it. He was tired of the shame, the fear. Tired of letting old ghosts keep him small.

Don’t stop now. You’ve gotten this far.

The water was sharp, slicing up his calves, his thighs. He sucked in a breath and dove in clean, letting the cold wrap around him like a fist.

It was shocking. Icy. Perfect.

He surfaced with a gasp. “Holy shit,” he called toward the shore. “You didn’t say it wasthiscold.”

Zeeb’s laugh rolled out of him, deep and real. “Itoldya.” He stood on the shore, his gaze focused on Nate.

Awareness flickered through him like a live wire, and he stood waist-deep in the water, not ashamed of his body, no longer afraid to be seen. Zeeb averted his gaze quickly when their eyes met, and Nate caught the slight flush on his cheeks. That told him more than any words would have.

Another impulse seized him, and he went with it.

“Come on then,” Nate shouted, the water up to his waist. “You did bring two towels, remember?” He grinned. “You scared?”

Zeeb raised an eyebrow. “You trying to goad me, kid?”

“I’m trying to make it fair. I can’t be the only idiot freezing my ass off.”

Zeeb said nothing for a moment, then shrugged. “Fair’s fair, I guess. And it ain’t like I haven’t done it before, right?” He kickedoff his boots, then peeled off his flannel and undershirt. He wasn’t rushed about it, just matter-of-fact, like it was no big deal.

As if stripping off thirty feet from a younger, very naked man was normal trail etiquette.

He shares a bunkhouse with how many other guys? And guests? Of course it’s no big deal.

But when Zeeb’s jeans came off and he stepped down into the lake, something in Nate’s stomach twisted.

Zeeb hissed as the cold hit him. “Christ on a cracker.”

“Told you.”

He waded in up to his waist, braced for a second, then dunked under. He came up sputtering, slicking his hair back with both hands. “Thank God there’s no one around to take pictures.” He glanced down. “I reckon my dick just shrunk to the size of a peanut.”

Nate couldn’t help it. He laughed, the sound loud and boyish.

Zeeb gave him a glare that didn’t last long. “You think that’s funny?”

“A little.”

Zeeb lunged at him in a splash and Nate yelped, flailing away.

They were kids for a while, both of them splashing, wrestling against the current, trying to dunk each other like brothers in a backyard pool. For ten minutes, Nate forgot everything: the weight in his chest, the voices in his head, the memories that clung to him, curled around him, cutting into his flesh…

Here, in the middle of nowhere, he was nothing but a body in water, playing for the first time in years.

At some point they both stopped, breathless and smiling, floating next to each other in the deep. Nate turned his face to the sky, panting, his chest heaving.

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