Page 49 of Behind Frenemy Lines

While we were finishing up our portions of wedding cake, Charles came back to the table and bent down by my chair to speak to me.

“Loretta’s parents are having some issues with their room, I need to sort it out for them. Once that’s done, we can go. Is that all right?”

His breath was warm on my ear. I caught the Scottish doctor looking at us. She murmured something to her neighbour, who glanced at us and smiled.

Heat rose in my cheeks.

“Sure,” I said. “I’m not in a rush.” It was true. Knowing Charles was looking out for me made me feel safe, as though I was surrounded by a force field generated by his concern.

It felt worse when we were moved on from the dinner table to the dance floor, in the same room where we’d had drinks and nibbles earlier—where I’d encountered Tom and his new girlfriend. Charles was gone, and the people we’d shared a table with had dispersed. I was alone in the crowd.

Jpop was blaring out of the speakers: “Kiss kiss fall in love!” sang a sweet, high-pitched female voice. A group of guests in costume squealed and rushed onto the dance floor.

I hadn’t spotted Tom or Alexis yet. Maybe they’d left. If I were Alexis, I’d be pretty damn suspicious about Tom running out of the hotel after me, calling my name.

But I didn’t want to think about that. Fortunately I wasn’t left to brood on it for long. Loretta lurched out of the crowd, pink-faced and high as a kite on love, excitement, and champagne.

“Kriya!” she crowed. “Where’s Charles?”

I explained about her parents’ room issues. “I think he’s speaking to the manager.”

“Poor Charles,” said Loretta. “My mum’s probably just being a nightmare. I’ll worry about it tomorrow.” She beamed at me. “I’m so happy you’re here. Do you do hugs? Can I hug you?”

“Of course.”

Loretta was warm and smelled of alcohol, but also of a rich fragrance that was somehow familiar, reassuring. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it was nice.

Her eyes were wide and serious as she drew back. “Listen, I need to talk to you. Woman to woman.”

Her shift from exhilaration to sobriety was disconcerting.

“What about?” I thought of Tom and Alexis, with a nauseating dip in my stomach.

“About Charles.” Loretta burped. “Sorry.” She swayed towards me.

It didn’t seem a wholly intentional movement. I put my hand on her elbow. “Do you want to sit down?”

“I’m good,” said Loretta, resisting my attempts to steer her towards the chairs arranged against the walls. She grasped my hand. “I want you to understand about Charles.”

“OK…” Where was this going?

“I know he can come off like a robot. ‘Beep boop beep, all I do is work.’” Loretta moved her arms up and down, her elbows locked at a ninety-degree angle, in something that was apparently intended to be a robot dance move. “But what you’ve got to understand is, under that exoskeleton, Charles has the purest little heart that man ever had. I bully him constantlyand all he does is cook dinner and take the abuse.” She gulped, sniffing. “That’s the kind of person he is. All he cares about is the law, his gains, and his family.”

“Do you want a tissue?”

“No.” Loretta rubbed her eyes. “I want you to know. Charles may seem like a weirdo, but he’s a gem. He’s a little… a little diamond, twinkling alone in the night sky. His last girlfriend dumped him because she wanted something ‘more exciting.’” She did the quotes with her fingers. “You saw him today, in his Kiichiro cosplay. Is that a man who is not exciting?”

“Well—”

“No! Fuck her!” Loretta turned her gaze on me. “Now you’ve come along, like a beautiful goddess who also does law. And you seem like you get Charles, and you laugh at his jokes, and he really likes you. That’s what I want you to know. It might seem like Charles is solid metal all the way through.” She banged her chest. “But his heart is soft and squishy, like a… like a delicious red bean mochi. And you’ve got that heart in the palm of your hand. You’ve got to be gentle with it. OK?”

I wanted to laugh, but I also felt touched—and guilty. I’d known intellectually that accompanying Charles to a family wedding as his date would involve deceiving his relatives. That had been the whole point.

But the lie had felt less bad before I’d actually met Charles’s relatives. I didn’t mind what his horrible aunt thought, but Loretta was different. I wasn’t here to fool her. But if she was exhorting me to be gentle with Charles’s heart, some wires must have got crossed somewhere along the line.

Loretta was fun and funny and full of life, someone I could imagine being friends with. And here I was, making her think I was dating someone important to her. That I was able to affect Charles’s happiness in any meaningful way, when the most I could do was have my headset on during video calls and avoid eating anything too odorous at my desk.

“Will you promise?” said Loretta.

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