Page 68 of Behind Frenemy Lines

“OK, to be clear, I did not rumpy-pumpy with Kawan Baik,” I said. “You all heard what. His flat got flooded, so I let him stay over. On thesofa bed.”

“That’s not an explanation,” said Zuri. “The girl who sits next to me in the office and is always having personal calls at her desk, if she got flooded out, I’d wish her all the best. I wouldn’t say, ‘Come back home with me.’”

May Yin said, “Why don’t you rumpy-pumpy with him?”

The quorum promptly descended into chaos.

“May Yin! Is that the kind of language they use at cell group?” shrieked Esther.

“Don’t shout, don’t shout,” said Zuri, wiping her eyes. “What about Ethan’s ears?”

“I don’t mean, as the first step,” said May Yin, injured. “I meant it metaphorically. He’s cute what. And he can cook. And he seems nice.”

“Upgrade on Tom, on all points,” Zuri agreed.

I sighed, settling on the sofa. “I haven’t even told you about Tom yet.”

It caused another uproar when I told them about my encounter with Tom at Loretta’s wedding.

“I always hated that guy!” said Esther.

“But why were you going to the wedding with Charles in the first place?” said Zuri.

“I told you. Because his cousin is gay, the relatives thought he might be gay. He had to bring a woman along to show he’s not gay.”

“What nonsense,” said Zuri disdainfully.

“Sounds like an excuse to ask you out,” Esther agreed.

“No lah,” I said. “Why wouldn’t he just ask me out, if he’s interested?”

But the answer presented itself to me even as I spoke. Charles knew pretty much all my problems in the past month had been caused by Arthur coming on to me. Charles wouldn’t want to do anything to put me under further pressure.

What was it he’d said to Loretta, when they’d been arguing about him bringing me as a date to her wedding?Bad enough the boss is chasing her.

Zuri and the others didn’t know about Arthur, of course. I didn’t feel ready to talk about that yet.

Zuri said, “What’s stoppingyoufrom asking him out?”

“He’s my colleague,” I said. “I share an office with him. It’s not a good idea. What if it goes wrong? It’d be so awkward.”

Esther said, “You’re always asking, what if it goes wrong. What if it goes right? You’re thinking of the worst-case scenario, but there’s a best-case scenario too. The one where you live happily ever after with this rich hot guy who can cook and is nice.”

“Or at least where you get to rumpy-pumpy him a couple of times,” said May Yin.

“May Yin!”

“What’s gotten into you?” I said.

Right on cue, the baby started crying. May Yin gathered him up into her arms.

“Ethan is so cute,” she said mournfully. “But he’s really disrupted my sex life.”

I jumped on this with relief. I’d had quite enough of talking aboutmycompletely imaginary sex life.

“Next time, drop Ethan off for a couple of hours and you can have some private time with hubby,” I said. “OK, who’s ready for some nasi lemak?”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

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