Page 95 of Behind Frenemy Lines

Ba needed looking after. Had always been true. He wasn’t good at it himself.

CG: “It’s not just about me. You can’t trust Shaw Boey. He’s going to get in trouble. He’s probably got the money to wriggle out of it, but if you get caught up in it, you won’t.”

Ba wasn’t listening. “I told your mother she gave you too much face. She never listened. Now, see, it’s made you selfish. You don’t care about your own father, your own siblings. Don’t you want us to have a comfortable life?”

Had been the subject of Ba’s diatribes before, but it hadn’t happened in a while. Had forgotten how confusing it was, as well as unpleasant. Like being bashed over the head by a screaming toddler, except the toddler was in his sixties.

CG: “I do. Of course I do. That’s why I sent you twenty-five grand.”

Ba: “Compared to what we need, that’s nothing. Now I have a chance to help the family, and you’re trying to tell me not to take it. We are in this situation, even one million would be just enough to pay off our debt, and you want to lecture me—”

CG: “Wait, one million?” Chill ran down my back. “Are you saying you’re in debt for a hundred thousand pounds? Ma said it was fifty.”

Ba, grandly: “Better not tell your mother. She’s had enough stress in her life.” As though he weren’t the chief source of Ma’s stress. “You already know I’m in a bad situation. Whether it’s five hundred thousand or one million, what difference does it make?”

CG: “Of course it makes a difference. Coming up with a hundred thousand pounds is a much bigger deal than coming up with fifty thousand.”

Ba: “Who’s asking you to come up with anything? I didn’t ask you to give me money. Once I have this job, I’ll be able to help myself. I won’t have to put up with you ordering me around. You are the son and you are acting as though you are the father! You’re telling me I must suffer, because if I work for Boey Kah Seng, it will make problems at your job. What’s the point of being a lawyer, if not to help your family?”

CG: “The point of being a lawyer is being a good one. It’s meaningless if you decide the rules governing the profession can be ignored for self-interest.”

Ba: “Nonsense. Who matters more than your family? What are you following all these rules for?”

CG: “For myself.”

And for society,I might have added, but Ba wasn’t about to listen to an account of how my work contributed to the rule of law. He was too busy working himself up into a tantrum.

Ba: “You think you’re a big man, because you sent me somemoney. You think I don’t know it’s pocket change to you? With your salary, you should be saving, investing. It’s not like you have a wife or children. Where has all your money gone?”

Could have said: on living in one of the most expensive cities in the world, financially supporting Ma since it wasn’t like she had a pension or had been able to save any of the money she’d worked so hard to earn over the years, and also,bailing Ba out of all his previous emergencies.

But Ba didn’t give me the chance to reel it off. He said: “If you’re going to be like this, I don’t need your help. Ha! You think I have no pride? You expect your father to kowtow to you, is it? Even if you offered me one million, I wouldn’t take it. Don’t bother sending me the rest of the money. I will handle it myself.”

Opened my mouth to reason with him. Shut it.

What was I going to say?Don’t be angry, Ba. I’ll go and kill myself raising another£75,000 for you, so you can berate me the next time I try to warn you off yet another terrible decision.

I could do what I’d been doing all along: take the drubbing, and keep giving Ba whatever he needed, when he needed it. It was what I was supposed to do. According to my parents.

But if this conversation with Ba had shown anything, it was that his judgment wasn’t to be relied on. I couldn’t stop Ba from working with Shaw Boey and his family, if Shaw gave him the job—which seemed unlikely, after what I’d done this morning. I couldn’t save Ba from his choices.

But I could opt out of being involved.

CG: “All right.”

Shocked silence on the line.

Ba: “What?”

Almost laughed, he sounded so taken aback.

CG: “I won’t send you the rest of the money.”

Ba: “What are you talking about? Because I am lecturing you, you want to throw a tantrum? Don’t you know it’s myresponsibility as your father to teach you? Who are you to threaten me?”

Wouldn’t have said I had any respect for Ba left to lose. Little had I known.

CG: “I’ve got to go, Ba. I’ve got work to do.”

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