“Do I talk like that?”
“But historyisreal,” I say with conviction. “Experience is real. All those moments are the basis for love, and I missed too much of what built our relationship in this life. I can’t stay any longer. I have to go back.”
“Oh,” the rabbi says, looking concerned. “You do know, Olivia, there’s no guarantee of a return trip. This isn’t an airline. You might leave here, but...”
“What do you mean? I could end up in some third reality?”
“Or fourth or fifth or thousandth,” he says. “So you need to be sure you really want to leave.”
My mind flashes to Jake an hour ago at the beach. The feel of my hand in his pocket. I don’t want to leave that. I don’t want to leave him. And yet I’m sure I’m not supposed to be here. If I think about it any longer, I might change my mind.
“I’m ready.” I take the joint out of my purse and place it on the table. “I’ll take my chances. Let’s go.”
The rabbi lights a match and puts the joint between his lips. He inhales, a bit unceremoniously for my liking—shouldn’t such a moment be treated with more gravitas?
“ ’S good shit,” he wheezes and passes the joint to me.
I hold it between my thumb and middle finger. “So I take a hit and... leave this reality?”
“Not exactly,” the rabbi says. “What did you learn while you were here?”
“I learned the value of my mother and my best friend—”
“But you already knew that.”
“I learned there’s a world where Glasswell and I... don’t hate each other.”
“Wow,” Rabbi Dan says. “You haven’t even left and the Walls of Jericho are going up.”
“What else am I supposed to do? In my Real Life, Jake’s a god and I’m a wad of gum stuck to the universe’s shoe. I’ve got to toughen up if I want to survive.”
“Or...” Dan says.
“Or what? Go back to my Real Life and tell Glasswell what I learned about us here? That we could be in love, and it could be so beautiful neither of us should waste another moment not trying to recreate it?”
Rabbi Dan laughs... and laughs, for a solid minute, banging a fist on the bar as tears well in his eyes.
“My point exactly,” I say. “I think I’ll take my chances with my walls.”
“I’m not laughing because what you proposed is ridiculous,” Dan manages to say. “I’m laughing because this weed isbubonic.”
I sigh and hold up the joint. “How long is this going to take?”
Dan’s eyes rove from me to the joint, then back to me. “You don’t think that joint’smagical, do you?”
“Whatelsewould I think? I’ve been carrying this around all week!”
Dan laughs again. “You’re hilarious. There is no magic joint.”
“Whereisthe magic then?!?” I yell.
“Hey now—” the security guard says, standing up behind his desk.
“I’m chill,” I lie to him. “I’m fucking chill, okay?”
Rabbi Dan leans toward me, taps a finger on my chest. “You’ve had it all along.”
“Then what the hell do I needyoufor?”