Page 46 of What's in a Kiss?

Wow, I can’t even believe the things I used to think about him—that his goal in high school was to one-up me at every chance.

It’s like when you imagine high school all summer before freshman year, so clearly, it’s like you’re conjuring reality. And then the moment you step inside the building and see the actual lockers painted their actual soft serve shade of brown, the moment you hear the roar of the hallway and feel the crush of backpacks from all sides, the pencils jutting out like knives—what youthoughtit would be like vanishes in the high-beam headlights of the hard, oncoming now.

I love now.

The only way to love eternally is to love now.

And everything is different now. It’s like I never met Jake before tonight. It’s like we never spoke before Cupid swiped right on us on a curb outside the gym. Ithought I was stepping out for air, but in the moments before Jake sat next to me, I looked up at the sky and felt something—

Like a promise.

Like an early warning of a soul-quake.

He came outside. He looked up at the stars. I looked up at the stars. While I was wondering if he knew the names and shapes of constellations, he sat down and started talking.

At first, I had my guard up; before prom, all I knew what to do with Jake Glasswell was compete. But something was different last night. The whole evening, our conversation had been natural, expansive. We talked about everything, from our families to our futures to what a hilarious disaster the Wednesday performance ofRomeo and Juliethad been.

Here’s where it got good:

Jake said: “If you’d beenmyJuliet—”

And I looked into his eyes and really saw him for the first time. I saw him in the role of Romeo. I saw me facing him on stage. And I wanted it.

“YourJuliet?” I whispered.

He blushed adorably. “If I’d beenyourRomeo. Is that better?”

Whyhadn’t he auditioned? What had made him look at me that day on the balcony and freeze? Our theater director had called out “Romeo, ascend!” but Jake just stared at me, shook his head, and walked out without a word. I’d always assumed he couldn’timagine playing that love story opposite me, but suddenly I wondered: Was I missing something?

He put his hand on my cheek and I was born. I didn’t have a cheek before Jake touched it. I didn’t have a heart until it pounded right then.

“I know there’s another world, Olivia,” he whispered. “One where we...”

“Where we what?”

He tipped his head toward mine, so close his eyes filled my vision. I smelled his eucalyptus soap and felt his breath against my skin.

Then he pulled back. His eyes were still closed and he grimaced.

“This would be a waste.”

“What?” I almost turned away. But then I thought about the stars crossing and uncrossing endlessly above, about the soul-quake warning I received right before Jake sat down. I thought about what was happening between us with our eyes. I took his hand and used it to push my fear away. “What could be a waste about this?”

As his eyes mapped my face I saw a hint of shyness enter them. “Two people get only one first kiss,” he said. “Maybe we should work up to it, until you’re sure—”

“You think I’m not sure what I want?” It almost made me laugh that he couldn’t tell exactly how I felt. It was that obvious to me.

When he didn’t answer right away, I showed him. I put my lips on his. I kissed Jake Glasswell. And kissedand kissed and kissed him. Softly at first, I got to know his lips. Then he kissed me back and everything got more passionate and ten thousand times hotter. His hand moved from my cheek to the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair as he locked his lips deeply in mine.

“Only one first kiss, huh?” I finally said with a gasp.

“That’s what I heard.”

“But what if the first one doesn’t end?”

He shook his head and smiled.

“Let’s find out,” he said, then he leaned in to kiss me again.

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