Page 56 of Weekends with You

“That sounds like heaven,” I said. “I’m counting the minutes until we can do just that.”

“I’ll be back in London before we know it,” he said.

We hung up just before I ducked into the station. I turned our conversation over and over in my mind, picturing him alone in his apartment, sitting in the window he usually called from, the one he kept telling me I would love. I mulled over his words, his tone, the aching space between us.

What if we didn’t have to wait until he was back in London after all?

“You’re doing what?” Raja picked her head up from her pile of homework and stared at me like I’d just announced I was joining the circus.

“Going to Amsterdam,” I said. “To surprise Henry.” Raja pretended to clear her ears of imaginary water, and I tried to remain calm. “Stop it,” I said. “You’re making it weird. It’s not a big deal. We were on the phone before, saying we missed each other, and then I saw an ad for discounted Ryanair flights, which felt like fate, so here we are.”

“Are you sure the ad was fate and not just data mining?” she laughed. “Besides, it’s a huge deal. You’re surprising him in a foreign country! That’s intense, Lu.”

“It is not,” I said, but I wasn’t sure I meant it. “It’s not, right? Please tell me this isn’t a huge mistake. It sounded more casual in my head when I bought the ticket, but now saying it out loud to you, I sound insane, and I just—”

“Sit down,” she said, halting my spiral. I obeyed, kicking my shoes off and jumping onto her bed. “Breathe. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. And I don’t think you’re insane. I was just surprised you guys are already at this point in the relationship, that’s all.”

“I know, I know, it’s early. Things have just been going so well with long distance. We’ve really been clicking, Raj. And it’s hard just over the phone.” I knew I was rambling, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted her to be on my side. “And didn’t you notice last month that he’d been missing home?” I continued. “He even said to me he wished he could see us more when he was on the road. So I’m doing him a favor, really,” I said. That was one way to justify it.

“I’m really glad things have been going so well,” she said. “I can’t even remember the last time you were this happy because of a man.”

“But?”

She sighed. “Has anything changed about the future? I don’t mean to ruin your plans, Lu, but you still don’t want the same things, right? You have no plans to leave London or the shop, and he has no plans to stay, so what’s next?”

“Well, if the shop closes, maybe I will leave London after all,” I said. “Not that he’s asked me to, or that we’ve even been on a proper date in real life, so I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but I’m just saying.”

“Quit being so morbid. The shop isn’t closing.”

“What if it does? And what if I spend all this time clinging to a job in London that might not even exist this time next year?”

“Do you really think that’s what’s going to happen? Or are you being dramatic because you’re nervous?”

“Both?” I said. “I don’t know, Raj. Renee seems more stressed than ever, especially since we didn’t get the boost we’d been expecting from Mother’s Day.”

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“I don’t want to hurt her feelings, and I don’t want to worry her, either. Every time I bring it up, she seems to take personaloffense. But that isn’t even the point right now,” I said, too stressed about my impending trip to also be stressed about work. “Either way, what I’m saying is, there might be hope for me and Henry. He might change his mind about being chained to the road, and I might not have a choice but to find a new job, which could be anywhere.”

Henry and I had spent the past few weeks on video calls, sometimes late into the night, telling stories from our childhoods and laughing and staring at each other and sharing experiences from our jobs and moaning about the weather and asking more questions likeWhat’s your favorite color?andWhat are you most afraid of?

“If I was a flower, what kind of flower would I be?” he’d asked one night over the phone, long after we should have been asleep.

“Hollyhock,” I’d said after a minute, wondering if that was the right choice. “They represent ambition, so I think they suit you.” He’d hummed, considering my response, but said nothing right away. “Or maybe tiger lily,” I’d continued. “It represents confidence and pride, which also suits you.”

“Do you think those qualities are going to be my downfall?” he’d asked, catching me off guard. His voice had been quiet, and I didn’t think that was because he was tired.

“Do you?” I’d asked, trying to proceed with caution.

“Sometimes,” he’d said, even softer this time. “For us, anyway.”

Us.The word had floated between Amsterdam and London like a heavy cloud. It wasn’t the first time we’d addressed ourselves as an item, but the word still brought warmth and chills to my spine in equal measure.

“I think they’ll only be your downfall if you let them,” I’d said, hoping that was adequate. I hadn’t been sure whetherhe was saying he anticipated our downfall or whether he was self-aware enough to prevent it, and I’d been too afraid to ask.

“Then I’ll try my hardest not to,” he’d said, and I had just barely heard a smile return to his voice. I’d wondered if he could hear mine, too.

“What kind of flower would I be?” I’d asked. He’d laughed, and I’d thought it was because he knew nothing about flowers, making it a silly question.

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