Page 18 of Dark Wishes

“There’s no reason,” I whimper.

More fingers—a third—filling me to the brim. “There is. I know there is. I want to understand, and if you don’t tell me, I’ll end this here.”

“You wouldn’t,” I gasp.

His fingers begin to slip out of me, the tugging of his hard knuckles along my roof, sending my brain into a spiral. I’m a singular hot ball ofneed.

I’m about to lose the little he’s given me. But I can keep it, if I just answer his question. Just say the truth.

But I can’t tell him, of all people, the reason.

There’s a wetpopas his knuckles escape. My pussy twitches at the awful sensation of being abandoned. “Have it your way,” he growls, pushing me off him.

I hit the bed.

I break.

The words bubble up and out and I don’t have the strength to contain them.

“Because I wish Iwasyou.”

Jamison stops breathing. The hush around us is tainted by my rattled panting.

“Why would you ever want to be me?” he asks.

“Isn’t it obvious?” I say miserably. “You’re dangerous, confident, unafraid.You’re everything I want to be.” My laugh comes out shattered. “I’m pathetic.”

His silence is suffocating.

I roll onto my side, away from him. “I ruined the mood,” I mumble. “Sorry.”

A powerful hand clamps around my shoulder, dragging me back on top of him. He tastes like mint toothpaste; I used the same kind in his bathroom earlier, but I didn’t notice it until now. Jamison kisses me for a length of breath that would make a deep-sea diver jealous. My lungs scream at me that I need air, but I ignore them. I’m engrossed in how lightheaded he makes me. For a second, I forget that I’ve humiliated myself.

I break away first. The rapid meter of his heart exists alongside my own. “Don’t every say that about yourself,” he rasps.

“Say what?”

“That you’re pathetic. You’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I laugh bitterly. “And probably a narcissist, right? If I’m attracted to you because I want to become like you?”

“You’re just confused. I know how brave you are, Selena.”

"You can’t see it right now, but I’m grinning.”

He waits a beat. “Is it a happy grin because I’m complimenting you?”

“You don’t understand me at all. You’re clueless.” The memory of the mugging from earlier worms into me. I was shaken to my core... too petrified to act. How dare he call me brave? He’s just buttering me up to stop me from complaining. Everything he’s said reeks of lies.Because that’s what he is... a liar.

I hang my head with a sigh. “Do me a favor, forget everything I said about wanting to be you.”

“That’s fine. You shouldn’twantto be me.”

“Great. Then let’s just move on.”I need a distraction. I don’t want to think about what I’ve said or what it means or any of it.I kiss his jaw, enjoying how he shivers.“I’m only throwing myself at you because you're the first guy that’s touched me in years.”

“You’ve got some fucking stones on you.” Jamison clutches my jaw, squeezing until I flinch. His thumb traces my bottom lip—the mild pain becomes a torrent of pleasure. “You make it sound like anyone that touches you could get youdesperateto fuck. That’s insulting to say to my face.”

My heart drops into my feet. “That’s not what I meant.”

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