It granted me both a hint of a promise as well as fear. It seemed Layla wanted to come back, but she just needed time to sort some things out. In the same breath, the love of my life didn’t want me to know anything about her right now. Not where she was, who she was with, or why she left.
How could I just go on like it didn’t matter to me? Like I didn’t wonder every day about her?
“Liam?”
Until I heard her voice, I’d forgotten that my mom was even standing there. I lifted my gaze to meet hers, instantly noting the worry in her features.
“Is she okay?”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“What did she say?”
I went on to give her a brief synopsis of Layla’s letter before I let out a frustrated sigh. “I know I should be grateful to have received this, but it feels like nothing in the grand scheme. I’m happy to hear from her. Really, I am. But I just want her here. I want her back. And she won’t even tell me where she is or why she didn’t want to marry me.”
Disappointment washed over her expression as she rounded the counter and moved toward me. My mom wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight. “I’m so sorry, honey. I know how much you love her, and I can only imagine just how difficult this is for you.”
Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. “I miss her so much.”
“I know you do. We all do. But at least this is a step inthe right direction. Give it another week or two. Maybe you’ll get another letter.”
I didn’t know how I’d last another week or two without hearing from her. I’d likely spend the time between now and then reading this letter over and over. “I don’t want another letter. I want her.”
My mom’s arms tightened around me. “I know. Maybe that’ll happen. She said she needed some time. Another two weeks will be a month. It’s possible that’ll be just enough time for her figure things out.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Her hand stroked reassuringly along my back. “Me, too.”
9
LAYLA
THREE MONTHS LATER
Keep going.
As I strode down the busy New York City sidewalk, I had to continue reminding myself to put one foot in front of the other. Figuratively speaking, of course.
Things were happening. Obviously, nothing was happening nearly as quickly as I would have liked, nor had I gotten where I’d hoped to be, but I was making progress.
And for now, that was enough. As long as things continued to head in the right direction, I wouldn’t complain.
When I left Landing at the start of the summer and randomly decided to make my move to the city, I hadn’t had a plan. I suspected I’d arrive and flounder for a bit. But my persistence and determination—likely the result ofrecognizing what I’d given up—had propelled me toward success.
I had a job now, and even though it wasn’t where I hoped to be in the long run, it at least provided me with enough to pay my half of the rent.
That was another glimmer of hope after I’d made such a heartbreaking decision to leave behind everything I knew and loved.
About a week after arriving in the city, I’d made a friend. Frankie and I had been at the same coffee shop one day. She was telling the barista about her former roommate leaving without notice, and I was celebrating being hired. Since I needed a place to live, I interrupted, introduced myself, and the two of us spent the next hour getting to know one another. We hit it off, and we’d been roommates ever since.
On the job front, I tried to be grateful just to have one. It covered my living expenses for now, and if I wasn’t frivolous or reckless with my spending, I had some money left over at the end of the month to save.
Sure, I could have opted to stay in Landing to find work, and the cost of living would have been substantially cheaper, but it was unlikely I’d find what I was searching for there.
Obviously, there were no guarantees I’d find what I was looking for here, either. The truth was that it was difficult to say where I needed to be when I didn’t exactly know what I was searching for.
In the broad sense, I needed a future. A career. And even though the career path was unclear at this point, Ifigured New York City would be the perfect place to search for it. Not only was there tremendous opportunity in a variety of career fields, but the likelihood was that once I figured out where I wanted to be—or more specifically, what I wanted to do—the income would be significantly more than I could have ever dreamed of in Landing.