Page 33 of Beautiful Sinner

“I just wanted to come out here and enjoy the fresh air. You must not have heard me. So engrossed in your book.”

She laughs a little but there’s a tightness there that I don’t like. “Yeah. I was. Do you want to join me?”

“I’m good. I’ll head back inside now.” I reach the back door when Inessa says my name.

“Julia. Where were you really?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you came in through the back gate. I know what it’s like to hold onto a secret and sneak around. I did back when I was your brother’s maid. I would sneak out to see my father. So who are you sneaking out to see?”

I love Inessa as a sister but she can’t know the truth. I can’t ask her to lie to Viktor for me. “No one. I was just enjoying some time to myself. Away from all the guards.”

I can’t tell if she buys it or not but she doesn’t ask any more questions and I don’t provide any more answers.

Chapter Six

Julia

All I can think about on my date with Connor is Matteo’s lips on my own. My very first kiss. And it was with the enemy. No one can know about it but it’s killing me not to tell Inessa. Keeping secrets is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. It’s becoming isolating and lonely.

Connor smiles at me over the table. The French server pours us each more wine before taking our orders. Normally, I’d love to come to a restaurant like this but not with Connor. I picture Matteo across from me and all I feel is warmth. Instead, I’m confronted with Connor’s smug grin.

Viktor agreed to my date with Connor, pretty much telling me that I need to agree to marry Connor afterwards. A guard is withus, situated at a table across the room, ready to pounce should anything go wrong. I would much prefer the guard pounce on Connor and take him away from me.

“Smile, Julia,” Connor says. “This is our date, remember? You said you’d give me a chance.”

“It’s just kind of hard when all I can think about is how you treated me the first time we met.”

He waves a dismissive hand. “I was doped up on coke. You can’t blame me for how I was acting.”

I take a sip of my wine so I don’t have to answer.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Is that what you want to hear? I am sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. It was wrong of me.”

“Thank you. I appreciate the apology.” I never thought Connor would have the guts to do it.

“Let’s start brand new. Shall we?”

If Connor is my future, then I do have to try. And he would make for a better husband than Grigori. Though, Grigori is old. He can’t have many years left. If I married him and he died, I’d get all the benefits of marriage without all the bad parts. But just the thought of being married to an old man like that sounds miserable. Maybe I can try to be happy with Connor.

Except, all I can think about is Matteo’s lips on mine.

“Ok,” I tell him. “Let’s start over.”

“Good. A few things you should know about me. I was born into a broken family. Mom was a druggie and Dad left when I was young. I hustled to get where I am in life. I’ll always fight for what I want.”

Is it just me or is there a bit of a threat to his voice?

“I barely remember my parents. They died when I was five.”

He blows out a breath. “Listen, Julia. I can pretend to be interested in what you have to say and you can pretend to be interested in what I have to say or… why don’t we go have some fun?”

“Fun?” Fun with Connor is not what I could consider fun.

“Yes. Let’s leave your guard behind and have a fun night. I want you to see the real me. Not who I was in that club. But the fun part of me.”

I think the man I met in the club is who Connor really is but I have to try with him. Maybe he does have a nicer, kinder side. “I can’t leave my guard. Viktor will worry.”

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