Page 54 of Beautiful Sinner

“I know, Julia. I know. Why are you saying this?”

“Because I know you would never do anything to hurt me either. I know you’re just trying your best.”

“But?”

“No but.”

“Really?” He huffs. “Feels like there’s a but there.”

“No but. I just want you to know that I love and appreciate you. You don’t hear it enough but I really do. You’ve been my father and my brother. I know that could not have been easy on you. You mean the world to me. You and Inessa. Always know that.”

“I do. And you and Inessa mean everything to me.”

“Even though you’re plunging us into a war?”

He sighs and his hands grip the steering wheel tighter. “I don’t know what to do.” His voice is weaker than I’ve ever heard it sound. “I’m in too deep to get out now. Dante and Erik will never forgive me.”

“Maybe not. But maybe someday they will.”

“I love your optimism but I don’t believe in it. This war needs to happen. Erik and Dante need to die. It’s as simple as that.”

I wish I could tell Viktor that he doesn’t need this. That he doesn’t need to prove himself to anybody. But I know he won’t listen. My brother will always do what he believes to be the right thing.

So the only thing I can do is place my hand on his and hold on tight.

Matteo calls me late in the night. “I need to see you again. I can’t stop thinking about the other night. My mouth on you.”

I tingle at his words. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it either but I know if we keep doing that, we’re going to enter a place that we cannot get back from.

“I miss you too,” I whisper. “But I’m not sure I can sneak out tonight. Viktor caught me returning and I had to lie. I’m worried I might get caught again.”

“I understand. And I won’t blame you for not leaving. You need to do what’s best for you.”

“And you need to do the same.” I pause, biting my lip. “Matteo, I thought you were going to kill Connor.”

“I tried.” He sighs deeply. “Trust me, I tried. But the fucker got away. But I’ll try again. I just have to find him first. He hasn’t been back to the club since I tried to kill him. Who knows where he is?”

I shiver. He has a good point. Connor could be anywhere, doing anything, and causing chaos. “I just want you to be safe.”

“I want the same thing for you.”

We’re both silent, neither one of us wanting to hang up. I should have the strength to do it but I’m desperate to see Matteo again, despite the risks.

I need to see him. “Ok. I’ll meet you at the same hotel.”

“I’ll book the same room.”

Then we hang up, with plans to meet, despite the dangers.

Sneaking out is not as hard as I thought it would be. Viktor hasn’t doubled his guards. They still take the same break at night, giving me the chance to leave out the back gate.

I don’t feel safe until I reach the hotel room and Matteo opens the door and I see his handsome face. I throw myself into his arms and he holds be back just as tightly.

Neither one of us wants to let go. To let go would be too painful.

It’s Matteo who backs up first. “Let me see you. God, you’re always so beautiful.”

I can’t help but blush. “Thank you.”

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