Page 75 of Beautiful Sinner

My fingers skim along his chest, his shoulders, his back. The entire time, Matteo watches me with a soft expression that makes me love him even more. Every so often, he’ll lean down and give me a small kiss on the lips or the temple or my neck. It makes me smile every time.

His hands linger on my back, encompassing the whole space. He’s just so strong. I feel so petite and womanly next to him.

I gasp when his hands tickle my stomach.

“Sensitive?” he asks.

“Very much so.”

“I’m still learning so much about you. I want to know more. Tell me something I don’t know about you yet.” The kiss he gives me to my neck makes me melt into him.

“Uh… I’m afraid of the ocean.”

“Why?”

“When I was a kid, I almost drowned. It was a pure accident. It’s one of the only memories I have with my mom. We were swimming in the ocean on a beach vacation and a wave came and swept me out to shore. I should have been wearing a lifejacket but I wasn’t. I thought I was going to die. Fortunately, Viktor saw. He’s a strong swimmer. He saved me that day. I remember he was so angry with our parents for not putting me in a lifejacket. From what Viktor has told me about our parents, they could be a bit forgetful at times. I guess in a strange way, I’m glad Viktor was more like a dad to me than a brother. He’s always protected me.” I shake my head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about my brother right now.”

“He’s important to you. I get that. My own mom was important to me too.”

“You said she was…”

“Murdered. Yes.”

“You don’t have to give me the details if you don’t want but… I want to know more.”

He pulls me in for a hug. I rest my chin in the crook between his neck and shoulder. “I’m not sure I can look you in the eye as I tell you.”

“It’s ok.” I run my hands over his back. “Just tell me as much as you’re comfortable.”

“I was sixteen at the time. I was supposed to be home earlier in the night but I wanted to hang out with some friends. Do typical dumb teenage shit. Smoke weed, play some video games. Nothing important. My mom wanted me home sooner and Iblew her off. I finally came home around midnight, stoned. I remember something feeling off the second I walked through the door. And then my foot slipped on something wet.” He sucks in a breath and I hold him closer. I need him to know that I’m here for him. That I’ll always be here for him.

“It’s ok,” I murmur. “It’s ok.”

“I turned on the light in the living room and looked down and realized I had slipped on blood. It was so dark and red. It shocked me. I had never seen that much blood in my entire life before. It took me a long time to realize what I was even looking at. Then I felt my heart constrict. I had never felt this sort of panic before. I was about to run down the hallway to search for my mom when I looked up and saw her…”

I don’t speak as he trembles under my arms. He needs this moment to process what happened.

“I saw her.” The defeat in his voice is crushing. “She was on the ground, in the living room, covered in blood. She had… she had so many wounds in her. Stab wounds, I later found out. Someone had broken in and stolen some jewelry and money, not that we had a lot. She died for just a few stolen dollars and some cheap jewelry. I called the cops and… I remember the way they looked at me when they arrived. Like I was a suspect. Like I could have done that to my own mother. It had just been her and me together for years. I never would have hurt her. My friends were my alibi so I was cleared as a suspect. They eventually found the fucker who did it. He left some prints behind.”

“Who was it?” I ask as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to picture what Matteo had gone through.

“Just some druggie fucker who had assaulted a police officer once. His name was in the system. They even found the knife he used on my mom. It was just in his back pocket like it was fucking nothing to him. He was arrested and sentenced to life in prison. He’s never getting out and it’s a good fucking thing heisn’t because I’d kill him otherwise and he doesn’t deserve death any time soon. He deserves to rot.”

“Oh, Matteo. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” A few tears slip down my face.

He cups my cheeks and wipes my tears away. “Why are you crying?”

“Because I care about you so much and I don’t want to see you hurting. It hurts me too.”

“You are perfect, you know that?”

I sniffle. “I’m not perfect. I just care for you.”

He gives me a simple, tender kiss. “I’ve never told anyone this story before. Not even Dante. He knows my mom is dead but… I never gave him the details. You’re the first.”

“I’m honored you shared that with me. I like knowing I get one of your firsts since you’re getting so many of mine.”

“Like what?”

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