Page 49 of Hideaway

The echoing tap of high heels across the marble floor announced Kara’s arrival, her hands full with a dish that smelled heavenly. She placed her masterpiece on the table and watched for Cade’s reaction.

“Shepherd’s pie?”he asked in pleasant surprise.

“Uh-huh,”Kara answered, feeling very pleased with herself.

“That’s my favorite,”Cade conceded. Clearly, she had done her research.

“I know,”she replied smugly as she dished out a serving for Cade and herself.“I asked Mrs. Hughes what you liked best, and she gave me the recipe. She said you asked for shepherd’s pie so often as a child that she was surprised you didn’t turn into one yourself.”

Cade wondered what else the old battle axe had told her. He had no idea that Kara had become such good friends with his cook. The idea unsettled him, though he didn’t know why. Mrs. Hughes was practically family. Hell, she probably knew him better than his own mother after all those years, not that it was saying much considering the type of mother the great Lady Ashford was. And perhaps that was the problem. Cade was a private person; Kara knowing little details like his childhood longing for a peasant’s dish left him feeling exposed. He would have to speak to Mrs. Hughes before she revealed any other intimate information regarding his personal life.

“Allow me,”Cade offered chivalrously, rising from his seat to pull out Kara’s chair from the table.

“Thank you,”she answered graciously.“Please, eat before it gets cold.”

Happy to acquiesce, Cade tucked in eagerly. It was delicious, indistinguishable from Mrs. Hughes’sbest work in the kitchen. Kara Caine was a woman of many talents.

“Well, how is it?”Kara asked, anxious for his opinion.

“Mmmm,”Cade answered in a guttural sound of approval.“It tastes like home. Well, the good parts of home anyway.”

“Are there bad parts? Of home, I mean,”Kara asked, her face a mixture of kindness and sympathy.

Cade groaned inwardly; he abhorred talking about the past, even less so when it meant disrupting a delectable dinner. Although he supposed he brought it upon himself. He shouldn’t have said a damned thing about home, it just slipped out.“Just your standard story of family dysfunctionality. Lady Ashford didn’t care for motherhood, Lord Ashford didn’t care for monogamy, soon neither of them cared for their marriage. I was often considered a minor inconvenience in their pursuit of things they truly enjoyed. After a time, I adjusted my expectations for parental affection and managed tolerably well. I had nannies and Mrs. Hughes, and eventually there was boarding school and university. I left home as soon as the opportunity in America presented itself, and fondness rarely draws me back.”

“Mrs. Hughes said you have a brother. Does he live here, or is he still in England?”

Caught off guard, Cade lost his composure completely, the cutlery he held in his hand dropping to the plate with a loud clatter.“Fucking Mrs. Hughes,”Cade said angrily under his breath, not low enough to escape Kara’s notice. He took a moment to collect himself before answering.“No Kara, my brother does not live here or in England. He died, angry and broken and intoxicated, and he is lucky he didn’t take anyone out with him in his destruction.”Cade ran his fingers through his hair in irritation.“Are you quite finished with the investigation into my personal affairs?”

Kara was devastated, the color draining from her face in mortification. In merely trying to get to know Cade, she had unintentionally gouged open more than one wound of his past.“I’m sorry, Cade,”she whispered sorrowfully. Their dinner had consisted of far more apologies and far less romance than Kara had imagined. Cade wouldn’t look at her as she reached across the table to place her hand on his before he pulled away sharply.“I understand loss, Cade. You know I do.”Her voice was broken, her eyes pleading.

Realization dawned on him, and it was Cade’s turn to feel guilty. Her parents. Of course. He had been so focused on the inconvenience of having to relive and retell his past hurts that he had been completely insensitive to her experiences with pain and loss. Twinging with remorse, Cade grasped her hand and held it tightly.“Of course you do, Kara. Forgive me, again. I am not myself tonight. I prefer to keep the past in the past; bringing ghosts into the present only allows them to haunt you further.”Looking deeply into her eyes, Cade saw his words had soothed the sorrow, but there remained a guarded caution in its place.“In recompense, I’ll permit you to ask me one personal question of your choosing. This is a rare offer, so I’d suggest you ponder your query carefully.”

“Can it be anything?”Kara asked, her eyes alight with excitement at the possibilities.

“Anything at all. Though I warn you, some answers may be harder for you to hear than for me to give. My life has been full of diverse experiences and interactions, a fair number of which would not appeal to your delicate tastes.”

Kara sat in stunned silence for a moment, shocked by Cade’s offer to divulge personal information. The man valued privacy almost as much as he valued control. So what did she want to know most about the enigmatic man she had somehow become entangled with? His darkest secret? His darkest deed? Did he make a habit of kidnapping women, or was she the first? Did he keep a staggering tally of the women he had fucked? Was she one of ten? One hundred? More? The thought of others raised a question that she’d stuffed far down beneath the surface of her consciousness the moment she’d started to develop feelings for Cade.

What happened to E?

“Have you ever killed someone?”Kara asked brashly before she could even try to form the question with more finesse or detail.

“Yes,”Cade answered simply, his voice devoid of any emotion one might associate with the confession of murder.“Does that frighten you?”

“I could scarcely call myself human if it did not,”Kara responded shakily. She stared down at her hand, still firmly held in Cade’s. Did he killE? Was she wearing the clothes of a murdered woman?

“Do you wish to leave?”Cade asked courteously.

“I’m not sure,”Kara answered truthfully. Sheshouldwant to leave. She should want to run as far away as possible and never look back. But something kept her grounded, something that common sense and intellect and rationality could not overcome.

Cade could see Kara grappling with reason and emotion, the two battling for dominance, and he sympathized. He supposed natural moral instincts dictated that Kara remove herself from whatever their relationship may be. That was the last thing he wanted her to do, but the decision must be hers alone.“Would it help if I added that her death was not my intention?”Cade elaborated, hoping, perhaps selfishly, that he could keep Kara a while longer.

“It was an accident?”Kara asked in clarification, allowing herself to breathe for the first time in what felt like ages.

“On my part, yes, a tragic one, though I still blame myself for the outcome.”

“You can’t possibly blame yourself for an accident, Cade. I tried after what happened to my parents, but in the end you have to accept that there is nothing anyone could have done to change it.”

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