Page 71 of Hideaway

So why didn’t he just end it? Why keep her suspended in perpetual purgatory? Sleeping alone in rooms down the hall from one another. Sharing meals in quiet silence, though Kara rarely had enough of an appetite to venture into the dinning hall. Cade busied himself with work. He allowed her the undisturbed sanctuary of the library. Life seemed to stagnate—never changing, never progressing. An un-altering, meaningless existence.

Fuck it.

Kara preferred to burn in the fiery flames of the demise of her relationship than be smothered by the smoke of lingering embers that slowly extinguished into nothingness. She would confront Cade, if only for a moment, and force him to admit the truth of his feelings. If he was through with her, she would end things. Right that fucking minute. Even if it hurt. Fuck, sheknewit would hurt. But she had enough self-respect not to linger for scraps of affection from a man who lacked the capacity to offer her anything more. She just hoped, when the time came, she had the strength to walk out the door and not look back.

Kara walked toward his office slowly, her steps weighed down by dread and uncertainty. Cade had been barricaded in his office all day, even neglecting his usual, distant appearance at breakfast. As much as she hated to intrude upon his inner sanctum, Kara was done waiting for the bastard to give her the time of day. She knocked on the office door twice, the sound of her knuckles against the hardwood making a far more assertive impression than she personally felt.

“Come in,”Cade answered, his voice curt and his words short. He was stressed and not in the mood for interruptions.

Trembling ever so slightly, Kara opened the doors, appreciating the scent of leather and parchment mingled with the hints of wood and mint that assaulted her senses. It smelled like Cade. God, she’d missed him. The warmth of his hands on her body, his lips on her skin. The richness of his laugh when she said something moderately clever. The fiery wit of his retorts. His stupidly perpetual insistence on calling herMiss Cainebecause he knew it drove her to insanity. The way his eyes darkened with need when she fought him. The way they melted into warm pools of desire when she didn’t. She was ardently, irrevocably intoxicated by every facet of Cade’s composition. Unbidden, her heart had dared to falter for the bastard.

And he was going to fucking break it.

“Kara,”Cade said with a startle when he finally glanced up from the reports consuming his attention. There was a note of irritation in the way he said her name that had Kara’s face falling in disappointment.

“I’m sorry to disturb you,”Kara apologized hesitantly, the emotional part of her consciousness begging her to run before her feelings endured irreparable damage.“Can we talk?”

Cade’s expression twisted with unease as he heard those three little words no one ever wanted to hear.“I’m very busy at the moment, Kara,”Cade answered dismissively, though not unkindly.“Perhaps another time?”

“Another time? And when exactly would that be?”Kara asked, her voice heating with an anger that had remained buried under hurt feelings and insecurities.“You are never around! We never talk. You haven’t touched me since…before. Fuck, you barely even look at me. It’s like I don’t even exist.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”Cade questioned in frustration, feeling very underprepared for the fight she had clearly walked into his office with the intention of instigating. He’d given her space for her own good. He wasn’t so cruel as to continue sleeping with her when he knew he needed to let her go. His days had been spent tirelessly ensuring her future safety. He’d placated Avery Reed—at great personal cost to himself. Although, whatever the price, he would have happily paid it.

“I’mtalkingabout you treating me like spoiled goods ever since Jace dropped me off at your doorstep bruised and used.”

“I have done no such thing,”Cade replied indignantly, habitually raising his hand to run his fingers aggressively through his hair.

“Yes, you have,”Kara answered firmly, noticing as Cade shifted restlessly in his seat.“You can’t even stand to be in the same room as me.”Kara wrapped her arms around her chest in an effort to protect herself against the chill of his apparent distaste.Kara felt the sting of tears, but she held them back—barely.“Please, don’t hate me for what happened.”

Thathad Cade abruptly abandoning his chair as he stood and slammed his fists on the desk, his features contorted with fury.“You think Ihateyou?”he asked in sheer disbelief, his voice rising in anger.

“I know you do,”Kara answered with a shrug of her shoulders as though her observation was entirely obvious.

“Your absurdity never ceases to astonish me. I do notfucking hate you,”Cade spat back, his eyes narrowed as though he could glare Kara into seeing reason. He took a deep breath as he wrestled with how much of his inner turmoil he should share with her.“I hate myself.”

Kara’s brow furrowed in confusion.“What do you mean?”she asked, truly baffled as she tried to understand his confession and how it related to his recent treatment of her. But it simply didn’t make sense.“Why?”Kara questioned finally.“It wasn’tyourfault.”

“Yes, itgoddamnwas my fault,”Cade thundered back, his voice a mixture of anger and self-loathing.“I took you from your life. I kept you here. I promised you protection while housing you with a man Iknewwas a murderer and attempted rapist. He attacked you in the library, and I made excuses for his behavior. I allowed him to stay. I fucking senthimout to drag you back when you’d successfully escaped me instead of letting you go.”

Cade scrubbed a hand over his face, wearing the expression of a man unaccustomed to regret.“I should have fucking let you go, and none of this would have happened. But I was a selfish, arrogant bastard, and—in trying to keep you—I damned you tothis.”Cade glanced at her briefly before looking away, his hands flexing at his sides as though maybe he wanted to reach for her. But he didn’t. He just stood there, his face composed of anguish as an unconquerable sea of distance lay between them.“Fuck, Kara, I would carve my own heart out of my chest and lay the bloody, beating thing at your feet if it would offer even the slightest atonement for what you have endured because of me.”

Kara stood in stunned silence, not quite sure how to respond tothatdeclaration, though she could appreciate the romantically morbid imagery.“So…you don’t hate me?”

Cade exhaled a huff of vexation as he mindlessly rustled the papers on his desk.“No, love, I don’t hate you.”

“Then look at me, Cade, for fuck’s sake,”Kara demanded, equally exasperated.

“I can’t!”Cade shouted, violently swiping all the papers on his desk to the floor.“I can’t stomach the fucking sight of his marks on you! The nauseating reminder of what he did to you. The damning proof that Ifailed to protect you.”

“Then wipe them away,”Kara suggested, Cade’s confession sparking an idea—an absolutely deranged idea.

“What the fuck do you mean?”Cade asked in irritation, hardly in the mood for riddles, as he stared at the mess of papers on the floor.

“Rewrite the pain that he carved into my body. Make it your own,”Kara continued, her voice taking on a darkly seductive quality she hadn’t intended.

Cade looked at her then, for the first time since what happened with Jace, he trulylookedat her. And his eyes held something indescribable and hungry and terrifying. He stalked toward her, closing that gaping sea of distance in what seemed to be a few strides. He stopped in front of Kara, his chest nearly brushing her forehead if not for the few inches of space between them. He was so close Kara could feel the warmth of his body radiating against her. She ached to touch him, to close the space between them and wrap her arms around the familiar breadth of his chest. But she couldn’t, not until they had resolved the issue at hand. And she had an inkling that resolution would come at a cost.

“And how am I supposed to do that?”Cade asked, his deep voice intense as he tilted her chin up to meet his gaze.

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