Page 105 of Crushing Clover

“You were a sucker. You let him use you.”

Even now, with some space, I had trouble admitting it. It was true, but it still felt disloyal to say out loud.

“Yes,” I admitted. “I knew it at the time, too, but I felt responsible. A drowning man will grab onto the person who can swim. You can’t blame him for wanting to stay alive.”

“You’ve made peace with it, but that doesn’t mean it was okay.”

“Oh? And what the three of you do to me is okay?”

He frowned.

What the fuck had I just said? This man’s charity was what was going to keep me alive.

“Never mind. I didn’t mean that.”

“I might be worried that you really thought that, except I don’t care. Both of us also know you’re covering for the fact that—aside from last night—you actually enjoy it.”

“I do not!”

“Do so.” I couldn’t tell if the glint in his eyes was teasing or mockery. Knowing him, it was likely both.

“You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better,” I couldn’t help but say, even though it would make more sense for me to stroke his ego and agree. So much for believing I had a better sense of self-preservation than most people.

Saint’s quiet chuckle of derision riled me up, but not in the way I would have preferred. Why couldn’t I hate him in an uncomplicated, non-sexual way?

“I love watching you struggle with the fact that you can’t stand us, but you need us, and you’re unbearably attracted to us.” He slid his fingertips under the bottom edge of my tank top, and ran them slowly over my quivering stomach, to trace beneath my breast.

I tried my best to control the unauthorized arousal he was causing, but every inch his fingers rose made my heart beat harder. He could roll on top of me and take what he wanted, but the anticipation of what he might do made my breathing erratic.

“Poor little thing,” he murmured. “Your body is used to being fucked in the middle of your sleep cycle.”

“Don’t bother offering. I don’t want anything from you.” In horror, I realized I was lying. My body was anticipating what he might do to me.

“No? Nothing?” I was melting under his dark gaze.

The last thing I wanted to do was encourage him, but it was taking everything I had to not arch against his fingers, begging silently for him to keep touching me. My nipple was so close to his fingers my skin felt like goosebumps on top of goosebumps. He must have heard my shallow intake of breath, because he smiled the way an evil scientist in a movie might to warn the audience about what was coming.

“Shh. We had a long night. The last thing you want to do is wake them up and become the entertainment.”

I swallowed, trying to soothe my suddenly dry throat. He skated his thumb over my aching nipple, and I sucked in an involuntary breath.

“Quiet, now,” he murmured.

He took my nipple between his thumb and forefinger and rolled it. It felt almost too good, and I whined nearly silently with the impossibility of keeping quiet.

“Such a simple request, but you never manage to behave yourself.”

He crushed my nipple between his fingers, and his black eyes glittered with avid fascination as he watched the way my mouth opened in pained disbelief. I squeezed my eyes shut, experiencing the pain as colors bursting behind my lids. Lust spiked downward to my bruised pussy, preparing my body for what he would inevitably do to me.

“Poor little kitten. You make such adorable noises when you’re needy. Such a spoiled girl.”

I was whimpering but couldn’t stop myself anymore. He scooped me toward him and ignored my whine of objection.

“You’re going to wake them,” I tried to argue, but he settled me on top of his body, my legs to either side of his hips and the hard bar of his cock pressed against my clit. Hadn’t I gone to sleep with panties on?

I blinked at him, aware of how deliciously bare we were against each other. His eyes crinkled at the corners. He pulled at my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth, obeying the silent command. Unfortunately, he took the opportunity to stuff my missing panties in. I tried to spit them out, but he gave his head a warning shake.

“You don’t take those out until I want them out, understand?”

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