Page 20 of Heartbeat Highway

On the bus en route to Chattanooga, the driver speeding more than a little, Lily sits beside me, not saying anything, our fingers entwined.

“Not to be the asshole here, but we no longer have a lead singer,” Maxim says, picking through a takeout container of food from the Sing Note. “Unless Bo wants to break out the pipes, but there are some deep daddy issues he should work through.”

“Thanks,” I say drily.

Maxim shrugs it off. “I know my voice is pretty good, but Dan’s a baritone. He can’t hit those notes.”

Dan shrugs. “Maybe we shouldn’t even play all the covers tonight. Why not introduce some of Maxim’s songs?”

“I love Maxim’s songs,” Lily says wistfully. She rests her chin against my shoulder, and all sorts of happy feelings bubble inside me.

Scrolling through his tablet, Dan at first doesn’t respond. “I mean, girl fronts often play well for the audience. Look at No Doubt.”

“The Pretenders,” Maxim chimes in. “Or the Vendetta. Halestorm.”

Lily stiffens beside me. “What are you talking about?”

“You, Lil.” I wrap an arm around her waist, and it’s something I’ve done a thousand times through our friendship, though now it all feels new. “I agree. Lily will be great.”

“Awesome.” Maxim claps his hands together, the metal bracelets on his wrist jangling. “I’ll get my sheet music. We’ll put in maybe one, two new numbers?”

“Stop.” She doesn’t stand—the bus is moving and she’s not a fool—but she trembles. “I’m not Chrissie Hynde. Why can’t Maxim do it?”

“This is a good idea,” I say. She glances at me and softens. “Really, Lil. You’re an amazing singer, and I know you can do this.”

“What if I get stage fright?” Her voice is so quiet it’s barely a whisper.

“We’ll be right there with you,” I reply. I kiss the side of her head. “You have a team, Lily. You’re not alone.”

“And we believe in you.” To prove it, Maxim hands her the take out box from Sing Note and she plucks a sweet potato fry from it. “You’ve got an amazing voice, and you’re smart. Our set isn’t that long, either.”

“Plus, you’ve been to all the rehearsals, so you know the blocking.” Dan nods, as though this is the barest requirement to front Howl.

“We’re here for you. I’m here for you.” I lean over and kiss Lily’s cheek, marveling at how easy this is. There are moments here and there where it doesn’t feel real. But then she looks at me and my gut swings wildly, and I know it is.

“Okay,” Lily says softly. “I’ll do it.”

CHAPTER 13

Lily

I can’t do this.

We arrive at the venue with barely a minute to spare. As one, we race off the bus to make it to sound check. I had to turn my phone off while we rehearsed the two new songs we’re going to add, since K cannot seem to take a fricking hint.

Sound check goes smoothly enough. Dan takes most of the microphone time, then has me sing a few notes of “Free Falling” for warm up. We tune and practice the new songs.

Being onstage like this isn’t so bad. It’s casual. The only people in the audience—we’re playing in a field with some folding chairs set up in front and a large picnic space behind—are crew, who are setting up for the concert.

If I keep my focus on the band, I’m okay. Dan and Maxim and Bo cue me seamlessly, rolling over my mistakes and covering for me.

I’m going to screw this up. While we practice, I can drown out K’s negative voice in my head, but I know it’s going to come back. It always comes back.

We hustle offstage after sound check, all of us dehydrated and exhilarated.

Bo hands me a water bottle and kisses my cheek. All these little gestures from him. I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted it. K was demonstrative, but it was never in a way that seemed to be for me. He was demonstrative in a performative sense. “You were great.”

I don’t reply, just hold the bottle in my hands and wring it, making the paper crinkle against the plastic. “I don’t know. I guess it was okay, but there were only like thirty people in the audience. What am I going to do when there’s a whole crowd, disappointed that I’m not K? I’m not some hot, shirtless guy?”

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