Page 149 of Shots & Echoes

All I could think about was Knox—the way I had left him standing there earlier, his expression a mix of hurt and confusion. The memory played over and over in my mind, gnawing at me. He had wanted more; he had needed me to say something, anything to bridge the distance between us. Instead, I had run away.

“Come on, Iris! Lighten up!” Brooke shouted from across the fire as she downed another cup of beer. Her laughter rang outlike music—a stark contrast to the heaviness that settled in my chest.

I forced a smile and raised my beer toward her. “Yeah! I’m having a blast!” But even as I said it, the words felt hollow.

I thought I wanted normal.

But now?

Normal didn’t feel right anymore. It felt shallow. A veneer of happiness painted over the deeper truths that churned beneath the surface. What I had shared with Knox—even hidden away in his office or behind closed doors—was real and raw and vibrant in ways this moment couldn’t touch.

“Want to play?” Chris asked, nudging my shoulder lightly as he gestured toward the volleyball net. He seemed genuinely interested, but all I could see was Knox’s smirk when he played games—his fierce competitiveness lighting up his eyes.

“No thanks,” I replied quickly, glancing away before he could see how torn I felt inside.

“Look at you, Iris!” Brooke teased, her voice bubbling with laughter as she nudged me playfully. “Finally letting yourself date! I can’t believe Chris locked it down.” She winked at me, a cheeky smile spreading across her face.

Her words felt like a knife twisting in my chest. It wasn’t just the playful banter that stung; it was the weight of their expectations. Everyone around me believed the lie, and that belief strangled me from the inside out.

I could see the glimmer of satisfaction in Brooke’s eyes—she thought she had unlocked some secret part of my life, that I had finally succumbed to what was supposed to be normal. But what did they know? They didn’t understand how heavy this pretense felt on my shoulders.

I watched Chris chatting with some of the other guys by the fire, his laughter ringing out clear and genuine. He was everything they wanted him to be: charming, safe—a steadyanchor amidst chaos. Yet all I could think about was Knox. Every second away from him was a reminder of what we had shared—the heated exchanges behind closed doors, the way he pushed me to be better while also making me feel like I belonged to him.

I swallowed hard against the pang of longing clawing at my insides. It felt like suffocation whenever I tried to smile and join in on their jokes. Chris reached for me then, casually draping an arm around my shoulder as he laughed with a couple of teammates about some inside joke I didn’t catch. But when he touched me? It felt wrong.

“Hey,” he said softly, drawing my attention back to him. “You all right? You seem a little distant.”

I plastered on a smile that felt more like a mask than anything else. “Just thinking,” I replied lightly, but inside? My thoughts were spiraling deeper into confusion and desire—caught between two worlds that couldn’t coexist without tearing me apart.

"Yeah, well, don't think too hard," he murmured, his breath hot on my skin. "Wouldn't want anyone to question your happiness being with me."

The sun dipped lower, casting long shadows across the bonfire gathering. Laughter echoed around me, but I felt distant, as if the warmth from the flames could never quite reach my core. Drinks piled up on the table, empty cans leaning precariously, each one a reminder of how quickly this night spiraled out of control.

Chris shifted closer, his body pressing against mine. I tried to focus on the chatter, but all I could feel was the weight of his gaze and the heat radiating from him. When his hand slid up my thigh under my dress, my breath caught in my throat.

I stiffened instinctively and pushed his hand away. “What are you doing?” I asked sharply.

He laughed—a low, bitter sound that made my skin crawl. It wasn’t playful; it was an assertion of power. This wasn’t about affection; it was about reminding me of our arrangement. He wanted to claim me publicly while hiding behind a facade of camaraderie with our teammates.

“Come on, Iris,” he whispered, voice dripping with challenge. “We had a deal.”

A chill ran through me as I caught his eyes glinting in the firelight. The possessiveness lurking there made me uneasy. I hated that I had allowed myself to be swept into this twisted game—a deal where I’d willingly walked into Chris’s territory and played along like everything was fine.

But nothing felt fine anymore.

“Chris…” My voice trailed off as his fingers brushed my inner leg again—teasingly close yet somehow infuriatingly far from what I truly wanted. A shiver raced up my spine as conflicting emotions crashed over me: anger, fear, longing.

“You know you want this,” he pressed further, his smile widening as he leaned closer still.

I fought against the pull of his presence—the way he made it so easy to slip back into comfortable routines and casual laughter while hiding behind the truth of what lay beneath our surface connection. But tonight? Tonight felt different; tonight reminded me just how fragile everything had become since Knox entered my life.

“No,” I replied firmly this time, pushing back against both him and the dark thoughts threatening to overwhelm me.

“We’ve got to sell this, right?”Chris’s voice dripped with smug confidence as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against my ear. “People are watching.”

I pushed his hand away again—firmer this time—but his grip tightened around my wrist.

“Don’t fucking embarrass me, Iris.”

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