Page 11 of That Same Old Love

Tall, shy and awkward Ananya with her perfect family now had a perfect husband to add to the mix. A husband who would never raise a hand at her in anger, or humiliate her by calling her worthless in front of anyone. A husband who would never leave the side of his heartbroken wife.

“One role… you had one effing role as a woman and you can’t even do that right. You are a pathetic worthless piece of shit.”

That had been Dinesh’s reaction after Mahi had told him about her third miscarriage.

If not perfect parents or a husband, she wished she could bond with her only sibling. During her childhood, she had adored her brother until she was ten. They just had a four year age gap, but somehow could never connect. She had blindly worshipped him, even when he got irritated with her following him around, begging him to include her in his play.

Their parents had never treated them equally; she had always felt like a second-class citizen right from a young age. Most of the time she felt as though she was simply there as a prop to fulfillthe requirement of having two children, making up a typical Indian family of four. Her grades didn’t matter. Whether she came first or last, she was met with the same disinterest from her father or heavy criticism from her mother.

Sometimes, she purposely got into trouble at school and at college to get a reaction from both of them, which her overly dramatic mother did, but never her father. She had craved their attention and approval for several years, until her resentment festered and bubbled over, creating a monster during her teens and in her early twenties.

Most people remembered their youth fondly, but she cringed at most of her memories.

She sat up slowly on the bed and wondered for the hundredth time whether the decision to start over in India was the right one. Her parents and brother thought she was a fool for wanting to return to India. Not that they were supportive in any of the major decisions she wanted to take in her life.

She recalled her mother’s words from nearly five years ago when she told them she was divorcing Dinesh who had been abusive to her right from the beginning of their marriage.

“You are a fool to leave your husband at your age when you no longer look desirable. You have put on weight and I’m sure your body is messed up like your face. I am telling you that you are making a huge mistake. Beg your husband to take you back and tell him you have changed your mind.”

And when Mahi had firmly said, “No,” her mother tried to lay down the ultimatum. “Fine. Leave your husband and live like a middle-aged social pariah. It is your life. But don’t come crying to me or your brother after you realize how you will be treated in the society.”

But it was her father’s words after she told him about the move to India that hurt the most.

“Mahi, I am no longer surprised by anything you do or the commotion you cause. I stopped being surprised a long time ago. You can never disappoint me…because I never expect anything of you.”

His indifference was much more devastating than simply being critical like her mother. Now she was no longer resentful about her parents all the time, since she had made peace with the fact that they didn’t care or would never care.

Shaking her head, Mahi reminded herself again not to mope over the past. A fresh new beginning was what she wanted and she would seize it even if it killed her.

The doorbell rang and she checked her watch to see that it was already one in the afternoon. Even though she had barely relaxed from the past thirty six hours, she felt happy and looked forward to rest of the day.

When she opened the door, a handsome man was standing in front of her, making a strong emotion rise within her.

“Oh my God, Rajeev! Look at you. All grown up and so handsome and so accomplished!” She hugged him on the doorstep and then pulled him inside.

Rajeev was smiling, and he had the same sweet smile as he did since the last time she saw him, when he was eight years old. “Mahi akka,you look great too. You haven’t changed much over the years. You look even better now.”

“Oh please. You still have the same charming flattery I see. It got me to buy you sweets and toys even though your mother warned me not to,” Mahi reminded him affectionately.

Rajeev laughed, probably remembering how he was able to manipulate her when he was young, and she had always indulged him, even though she knew he was putting on a show.

“How is Kamala aunty doing? And when can I see her? I spoke to her a few days ago before I started,” she enquired worriedly.

“She’s doing fine. Thank god for that. Although, it’s not completely over yet. She still has to go through a few more surgeries before she can fight back the cancer completely. I’m really thankful for your help during these difficult times. I-I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.”

“Don’t be silly Rajeev. You are family, and the only part of the family I genuinely and dearly love. You’ve no idea how Kamala aunty took care of me, even when I drove her nuts. What I did in return doesn’t even cover a portion of that debt.”

Rajeev’s mother was Mahi’s aunt. Her father’s widowed sister who had come to live with them when her husband had died in an accident on his farm. Her aunt had been pregnant at that time and her brother was the only family she had who could take care of her.

Not that her aunt was exactly taken care of the way anyone would imagine. Mahi’s mother treated her like a glorified servant and cook who would earn her keep to remain in the household. Even Mahi had treated her aunt indifferently during the first few months and never defended her during one of her mother’s rages or criticism.

But after Rajeev was born, Mahi fell in love with him the moment she saw him when he was just a day old. Even though she had no idea how sibling love felt like, she felt fiercely protective about him. She had taught him his first words, some of them naughty, receiving a lot of flak from her parents and her aunt.

She even played with him and spent time teaching him to read and write when he didn’t go to a play school. He had been the oldest in his U.K.G class when he joined their neighborhood school at the age of seven. But he was the brightest kid and smart as a whip. The fact that he got an admission into an IIT to do his Computer engineering made her as proud as his mother.

“But you already put money towards my schooling and college education, even though you didn’t have to,” said Rajeev guiltily.

“What did I tell you before? Don’t bother about the expenses, and your mother barely used my money. Just worry about getting a good job soon.”

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