Page 35 of Protected

I’m tired and stiff and grumpy. It’s been more than a month now of sleeping in a real bed in a genuinely safe environment. I’m not as used to tense, interrupted, insecure sleep as I used to be. Deck acts normal. Silent. Efficient. Matter-of-fact. And observant. But he’s not as relaxed as I’ve seen him lately either.

I don’t like this anymore. It’s safer and more familiar with Logan and the rest of the group. That feels as much like home as is possible anymore, and I want to get back there.

Micah and whoever he brings to get us won’t have left until first light, so we’ve got at least a couple of hours to wait. We return to our corner and sit side by side again,and I try to prepare to pass the tedious minutes until their arrival.

Deck reaches over to touch my arm to get my attention. Then signs,What’s wrong?

“Nothing,” I respond with a sigh, dropping my head back against the wall. “I just don’t like it here. I feel vulnerable. I want to get back with the others.” I keep my head turned to the side so I can see his response.

We’ve done well with communicating with sign language given my limited knowledge and the short time we’ve been practicing, but there’s still a lot Deck isn’t able to communicate with learned gestures. He taps his chest and then wraps one hand around his rifle with a frown.

“I know you’ll protect me. I know you’re not going to let anyone hurt me. But even you aren’t invulnerable, you know.”

His frown deepens like he wants to argue with that claim.

Unexpectedly, his expression makes me want to smile. “I’m not casting aspersions on your strength or your manhood. I just… I just don’t like being away from the others. It… It makes me feel how I used to feel before I joined up with you. At the time, I didn’t realize how traumatic it was when Hal and I were all alone and always hiding and scrounging to survive.”

He moves his hand from his rifle to my thigh and leaves it there. Big and warm and comforting.

“I guess we just do what we have to do. No matter how hard. And don’t really think it all through until afterward. And then Hal died, and I was all alone. And even then Ijust survived without realizing how hard it actually was. But thinking back now… it was… terrible.Terrible. What I had to go through.”

He makes a couple of awkward gestures, signingnoandnow.

“Not anymore,” I say, verbalizing the sentiment he’s trying to express. “I know. I’m not alone anymore.” I cover his much bigger hand on my thigh. “I think that’s why I want to get back. I don’t want to feel even a little like that anymore.” I give him a faint smile. “You and Logan and the others really saved me.”

He sits up straighter and turns to face me directly. He signs outnoandnowagain and then spells outalonewith his fingers. Then he taps his chest. And keeps tapping with increasing emphasis.

I must be emotionally stretched by the fear and tension of the night because my face contorts as I fight against a wave of emotion.

He may not want or be capable of speech anymore, but nothing could be clearer than what he’s telling me right now.

I’ll never be alone again.

Because he’s with me, and he always will be.

The emotion shudders through me until I’m able to contain it back into my heart where it belongs. I nod and manage to force out, “Same. Same here. With me. You’ll never be alone again either.”

He makes a rough sound in his throat—an actual sound—and pulls me into a hug. It’s strong and urgentand so tight it momentarily takes my breath, and it’s also a little awkward with both of us sitting on the floor.

But I love it. Need it. I hug him back with all I’m worth.

After a minute, Deck solves the awkwardness of our positions by pulling me into his lap and leaning against the wall as we hug. It’s better. More comfortable. More intimate.

Warmth and affection and pleasure and excitement all swell up inside me, overwhelming the small shiver of fear that also awakes from the knowledge of needing someone so completely in a world that never allows the good things to remain.

It’s a long time before Deck finally loosens his arms. He draws his head back and stares at me. I gaze back, hot and flushed and trembling in the expectation of what I can see in his eyes.

He cups my face with one of his huge hands. Waits a moment to see if I’ll pull away. When I don’t, he leans forward. Brushes my lips with his.

It feels so good—so much better than anything I can ever remember—that my body and my heart both lurch with need and ownership. He’s withdrawn his head so he can see my response, and I sway forward in his direction, closing the distance between our mouths to kiss him again.

This time it’s deeper. Longer. More intense. The first slide of his tongue into my mouth makes my pussy clench, and the arousal tightens and builds as he kisses me hungrily, rearranging my body so I’m straddling his lap.

Now our groins rub against each other. He’s alreadyhard in his pants. I hold on to a handful of his beard as I open wider to his tongue, sliding mine out to get in on the action.

He’s a lot bigger than Hal. He feels and smells andisdifferent. Everything about the kiss is new, and it’s heady and intoxicating. I eagerly try to suck down every sensation.

Deck slides his hands down to cup my bottom over my jeans. He holds me there, moving my hips in a rocking motion against the hard shape of his cock.

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