Page 37 of Protected

Logan punched Deck back—likely an automatic instinct rather than a conscious decision—but then the whole thing was over. I was astounded that first, Deck didn’t continue the fight this afternoon and that second, he didn’t get in trouble with Logan for lashing out. Logan didn’t appear to even resent the blow. They had a conversation later, but I wasn’t allowed to be part of it, so I have no idea what was communicated between them.

Afterward, everyone acted normal. Like nothing in the world had happened.

For some reason, this fact has made me even more jittery.

I don’t even know why.

When Deck finally walks into the room, he smells like soap more strongly than normal, and he’s carrying a pad of paper and pen. He kneels down beside my bed and starts to write something out.

I watch him in the light of the lantern I kept on, once again experiencing that odd swell of ownership at the sight of his big face, rumpled beard, and intelligent brown eyes.

I wait until he’s finished writing. Then read what he wrote.

I told Logan he’s not allowed to kick you out unless you break the rules.

I lick my lips. “I know you say that now, but we don’t know how we’ll feel later on. I mean, what if things go bad between us?—”

No!He makes the sign dramatically, shaking his head at the same time.No!He grabs the pad to write out,What kind of man do you think I am? I wouldn’t let you be put in danger like that no matter what happens.

I take a couple of deep breaths as I read his messy handwriting. Inside, I know what he’s saying is true.

Of course Deck isn’t like that. Of course Deck would never let that happen. Nothing that might occur between us could ever change the man he is.

“Okay,” I manage to say. “I believe you.”

He peers at me intently for a minute. Then writes,You never have to worry about that happening.

“Okay,” I choke out. “Thank you.”

We stare at each other for a moment. Deck is still kneeling next to my bunk, and I’m propped up under the covers.

Then he nods and withdraws, starting to stand with a reluctant expression.

It’s then—only then—that I know what all the jittery excitement inside me has been telling me all day.

“Wait!” I say, grabbing for him and catching a handful of his shirt.

He lowers himself back down to my level with a question on his face.

“If you mean it,” I say. “If you really mean it, then I’m not afraid anymore.”

Deck freezes, only his eyes searching my face with growing heat.

“If you think we can keep it casual, if you think we can keep it from turning into an emotional mess that will cause problems in the larger group, then… Can we…” When my voice catches, I start again. “Can we go back to where we stopped this morning?”

His answer is evident—hotly thrilling—on Deck’s face as he climbs into the little princess bunk on top of me.

13

Deck is big.

I’ve always been aware of this obvious truth, but I’ve never experienced it as palpably as when he crawls into the small lower bunk with me.

How has he even been sleeping up top? He can’t even straighten his legs.

Right now he’s filling up all the extra room in the space between my mattress and the bottom of the upper bunk. He’s in an awkward all-fours position straddling my body as he bends his elbows to get low enough to kiss me.

I’m swallowed up by him in every way as I open to his mouth, winding my arms around his neck as my heart and every nerve ending thrills in excitement at getting to hold him this way.

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