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Our gunshots were obviously heard because Logan appears from the woods at a run. He’s got his hair pulled back at the nape of his neck as usual, and there’s a sweat spot on the front of his gray T-shirt.

He takes a quick scan of the scene and then holsters his gun. His mind works more quickly than anyone I’ve ever met. He’s obviously put the pieces together and knows exactly what happened here.

Trisha bursts out of the surrounding trees too. I don’t know if she heard the gunshots as well or simply followed Logan.

“We’re fine,” Burgundy says. “This guy showed up and made trouble, but we took care of it.” She puts down her gun and tucks the towel around herself more securely.

Trisha might be my least favorite person in the world, but she’s not slow or dense. She too must deduce whathappened here. She gives a little laugh. “Did you freeze again, Lilah, and make poor Burgundy come out of the water naked to kill the man for you?”

The words feel like a slap in the face. Mostly because they’re entirely true.

“You can’t keep letting other people fight your battles. You’ve got to be stronger than that.”

“Shut up,” Burgundy snaps. “You don’t know?—”

“Enough,” Logan says curtly. “Trisha, go find Micah and Billy to take care of this body. It’s not your place to lecture Lilah, so keep your comments to yourself.”

Trisha doesn’t like that. She hides a scowl as she turns to leave.

When she’s out of sight, Logan turns to Burgundy. “And it’s not your place to cover for Lilah. Otherwise you did good here. Go ahead and get dressed.”

Burgundy gives me a sympathetic look before she walks over to where she left her clothes.

And me, I’m still standing like a statue.

Like a useless, pitiful waste of space.

Logan meets my eyes. “Why didn’t you shoot?”

“I…” The words get stuck in my throat. “I should have. I’m sorry.”

Logan glances down at the man’s body. “Were you unsure of his intentions?”

It would have been an easy excuse—some way to defend my inaction—but I’ve never been any good at lying, and it doesn’t even occur to me to do so now. “N-no. I knew what he was after.”

“Then why didn’t you shoot?” Logan doesn’t soundangry. I’ve never seen the man angry. He’s either blunt and matter-of-fact or quietly reflective or as cold and cutting as ice. Right now he’s asking a real question and waiting for me to get the answer out.

It takes a minute before I can finally verbalize the real reason. “Because… because he was a human being. And killing him is so… final. What if I misread him? What if there’s more to him than it looked like from the few seconds I saw? What if I get it wrong? He’ll be dead, and I’ll be the one who did it.”

Logan listens. Genuinely thinks about what I’ve said. Then he finally takes a step closer to me. “That hesitation,” he says at last, soft and cool. “That hesitation is you still believing you can be a good person and live in this world. Maybe a few years ago there was room for those kinds of choices. But not anymore. Good people don’t survive. Not here. Not now. Your job is not to solve moral quandaries. You protect yourself. And you protect your people. That’s your job now. You failed at both today, so Burgundy had to do it for you.”

I’ve noticed Burgundy getting dressed in my peripheral vision, and now she makes a noise of objection.

Logan silences her with a brief wave of his hand. “So you take that sense of morality that keeps holding you back, and you force it into a dark corner of your mind so you can do what must be done to survive. This world doesn’t give you the luxury of moral introspection. All the truly good people didn’t make it even this long because they couldn’t do what we’re forced to do to make it through each day. Do you thinkthe monsters of this world hesitate even a moment before they pull the trigger? Of course not. That means you can’t hesitate either. If someone is a threat to you or yours, you shoot. And you keep shooting until they’re dead. You can try to be decent, but you can’t be good. Do you understand?”

I nod. Manage to get out “I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”

Logan inclines his head. “Okay. It’s done now.” He glances over my shoulder. “Burgundy, can you get her back to the house?”

He must think I’m in a pitiful state if I need support walking the short distance to the house.

The worst thing is he’s entirely right.

Burgundy walks with me up to my room, but then I tell her I’d like to be alone for a little while. She gives me a quick hug and leaves.

I climb into my bunk and curl up on my side, hugging my knees and shaking helplessly.

I don’t know how long I stay like that, but I’m still in the same position when the bedroom door opens and Deck’s familiar scent fills the room.

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