Page 58 of Protected

“That makes sense. Did you have any luck in Nashville?”

“Not really. I got some gigs in bars, but I had to wait tables to pay my bills. But I was only at it for a few years before Impact. Then none of it mattered at all.”

“Yeah.” I sigh, still questioning Trisha’s unexpected attempt at bonding but unable to unearth any sort of agenda behind the conversation. “I was in college. I was studying and preparing for law school and having some fun and making plans for what my life might look like and trying to figure out the person I was. Then all of it became meaningless in an instant.”

“Did you have a boyfriend?”

“I did. Hal.” I sigh, an ache in my chest that’s poignant but distant—like the grief has aged. “He was from the same town as me, but we didn’t start dating until college. We survived on our own for a couple of years after Impact. After he died, I was all alone.”

“I know what that feels like.”

“Do you?” I hesitate. Then risk the question. “How did you end up with the gang at that house?”

She makes a wry face and takes a minute before she answers. “When everything went to shit, I tried to get home to my family. But I didn’t make it. I was alone, and that gang found me. I didn’t have any choice.”

“No. I know you didn’t. That’s terrible.”

She shrugs and scrunches her features again before her expression clears. “We do what we have to. You know?”

“I know.” I smile at her. Then climb out of the back of the Jeep when Logan calls out a five-minute warning. “Well, now you’re with us. It’s better, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. A lot.”

I’m thinking about the conversation and trying to adjust to new impressions of Trisha as I join Deck at our normal pickup truck.

What?he signs, peering at my face closely.

“I don’t know. I was just talking to Trisha.”

About what?

I let Deck help me into the truck bed and take my normal position across from Burgundy, who has been listening to the conversation with a frown on her face. I say, “About our past. Did you know she wanted to be a country music star?”

Deck shakes his head, and Burgundy looks surprised by this piece of information.

“I did,” Micah says, looking at me over his shoulder. “I told her she could borrow my guitar, but she never took me up on it.”

“I guess it reminds her too much of the past. I get that. Maybe she’s not as bad as I thought. Maybe I haven’t been fair to her.” The last sentence is more to myself than to the others.

You think so?Deck signs, his mouth turned down in a frown beneath his beard. We didn’t have time to trim his hair and beard this morning, but I’m hoping to do it during the midday break.

“I don’t know. Her man-chasing is definitely annoying, but it doesn’t make her a villain. I didn’t like her from the beginning, but maybe that’s on me.”

“I had nothing against her at first,” Burgundy says in a cool tone that’s not normally like her. “I tried to connect, and I gave her time to adjust. But she’s proven to be trouble at every step.”

“I know.” I think for a minute. “But I don’t like to think I immediately classified her as a mean girl when she’s… when life hasn’t been kind to her.”

“Life hasn’t been kind to any of us,” Burgundy says, still frowning in a way I rarely see from her. “But we can’t let that harden what’s good inside us. Give her a chance if you want, but just be careful. Bad things happen to bad people as much as good ones. Some people cared only about themselves before Impact and still care only about themselves now.”

Her quiet words feel true to me. I glance over at Deck, and he nods soberly, pointing toward Burgundy, clearly communicating his agreement.

I sigh, wishing the world didn’t have to be as confusing as it is cruel. “Yeah. You’re right. I’ve always been careful with people. I’m not going to stop now.”

We make pretty good time throughout the morning and continue driving past noon. I’m expecting us to stop for lunch at any minute when Micah says, “Deck, look.”

All of us turn in the direction he indicates. It’s a big church on top of a hill, the steeple and half the roof collapsed.

Because I’m looking, I catch the recognition on Deck’s face.

---