Page 29 of A Winter's Wedding

Though his words were likely intended to reassure her of their friendship, his sentiment sounded more like a submission to the past; to the way things were. Their relationship had made a turn for the best last year, and moments ago, she was feeling emotions she had tucked away a long time ago. She considered whether he was correct. Perhaps, there was no use in revisiting their past, and things should just stay as they are now.

“We can grab some dinner down the street while we wait,” Carol said, knowing they needed something to do other than sit and stare at each other while they waited.

“That will be just fine,” the consultant said. “Let’s get you out of this.”

Carol returned to the fitting room and removed the stunning gown in silence. Edwin shuffled around the store as he waited for her to emerge. Every scuff of his heel against the floor reminded her of the ticking of a clock; reminding her that she had wasted so much time over the decades.

At dinner, Edwin didn’t say much, though he was pleasant and did speak about the menu, how good the ale was, and how nice she had looked in the dress. Each averted gaze and uncomfortable smile said everything else. With every quiet minute, the distance between what she thought she wanted and what she assumed Edwin wanted, widened. She wanted Edwin, but was resigned to having him as a friend, if that’s what he wanted too.

After dinner and picking up her altered dress, they drove the short trip back to the Cove. Edwin parked down the street from Carol’s place, insisting on walking her to the door. He carried her garment bag over one arm, and she held onto his jacket at his elbow. Friends, or more than that, she was just glad they were no longer enemies.

The air was calm and Main Street was beautiful in the early evening. The town had decided after Christmas to leave the twinkle lights up all year. Hundreds of tiny bulbs stretched in rows between one side of the street to the other like a canopy of little stars.

Carol looked up between the lights at the tiny falling snowflakes. Despite her earlier judgment that things should stay the same between them, she wanted more and hoped her assumptions about what Edwin wanted were misplaced. There was one way to find out. She slid her hand down Edwin’s arm until she found his fingers. To her surprise, he didn’t pull his hand away. Instead, his warm fingers wrapped around hers and pressed into the back of her hand. It had been a lifetime ago when last she held his hand in that way and the intimate touch transported her back to a time when she wanted to spend her life with no one else.

“Dance with me?” she said and stopped Edwin in his tracks.

“Now?” His face was a mix of surprise and suspicion, like she had a trick up her coat sleeve. She gave a reassuring tilt of her head and he nodded. Edwin placed the garment bag over the seat back of a sidewalk bench and took her purse, placing it beside the dress. Wrapping his right arm around her waist, he rested his thumb along the dip of her spine. He took her right hand in his left in a practiced manner, as though he had been waiting a lifetime for this moment. With a grin and raised brow, he began rocking her back and forth to the sound of the snow falling around them.

Carol followed his expert lead with each step, and when he released her and threw her into a spin, her breath caught. She bit her bottom lip as he rolled her out and then back into his body. A giggle escaped her throat, and he kissed her cheek as people do when courting. The kiss, brief as it was, felt like a million dreams colliding at once.

Their bodies swayed to a quiet hum coming from Edwin, a tune she couldn’t identify, but didn’t want to break the sweet moment with questions. For a while, they were the only two people in the world. She wasn’t sure how long they danced, but she knew her feet were cold. She let Edwin hold her close and warm her heart. Her head rested on his chest as he tucked their hands into the space between them. With every sidestep, her mind swam with the memories of the high school winter formal and wished so many things had been different.

A contented moan vibrated in his throat, and he rested his temple on the crown of her head. “Can I ask you something?” Edwin must have felt her tension; her regret.

Oh no,here it is. It was time for the explanation she hoped to never give. “Is this about?—”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation, as though he could read her mind somehow. “I have replayed that night in my mind for forty years; even went to war to try and escape the truth. But I have to know. What did I do wrong?”

Carol stopped their rocking motion and pulled back enough to see his face. “You think you did something wrong? All these years? You thought it was you?” The realization broke her heart. She had never wanted to hurt him, then nor now.

“Wasn’t it?” Edwin’s brows pinched in confusion.

She shook her head, unable to speak. How could she have known that in her effort to protect him from her drunk father, that he would have internalized her actions this whole time? But it explained so much. The realization threatened to break her down more than she could bear. Grabbing her things off the bench, she made her way down the sidewalk toward her house.

“Carol. Wait. I don’t understand.”

She shook off his grasp on her shoulder. “I have never wanted to hurt you. But please know that you never did a thing wrong. You are a hero and a gentleman. Why do you think everyone loves you?” she said.

“Everyone?” he grinned, which broke her heart even more.

“I can’t do this.” Carol marched past him. “I appreciate your assistance with everything this week. America and Leo will be very grateful.” She dug for her house key and fumbled the jingling chain as she hurried to get inside. There was a reason she never wanted to speak of what happened, and she had done a really good job keeping Edwin, and everyone else, at arm’s length for a really long time. That was until America showed up and hammered little cracks in her hard exterior with all that Christmas spirit and cheer.

The lock clicked open. “Goodnight Pa,” she said and closed the door before he saw her tears roll down her cheek.

Edwin knocked on the door, just centimeters from where her back pressed against the cold wood. “Carol. Let’s talk about this. I…” his hand thumped against the door one last time. “Goodnight, Carol.”

She heard his feet shuffle down the sidewalk outside, and she slid her back down the door until she sat on the floor. With exasperation escaping her through every goosebump, she kicked her shoes off and threw her scarf and bag across the foyer floor. Why couldn’t she just tell him that her father had threatened anyone who would dare touch her. Outside the winter formal, they had danced in the snow and caught little flakes on their noses and lashes. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted him to hug her in tight and never let go.

But fathers have ideas about their little girls, anddrunkfathers have dangerous ideas about the men their little girls fall for. By the time culinary school was over, her father had drunk himself to death and she finally moved home to the Cove hoping to see the man she still loved. But Edwin had gone to war and then came back a changed man. Distant. Which is where their relationship had stayed since.

Pride had been her biggest comfort until now, but now she saw it for what it was. She cried out. Not wanting to go back to how things were, but what was she supposed to do now that he had danced his way into a new possible future? Love him?

Chapter17

After spending another night in Buffalo, Leo received word that the highways were finally going to open by mid-morning. Although they were officially late getting home, lazing in bed with his wife was exactly where he wished to stay forever. But important things, like driving home and having a second wedding still awaited. He reluctantly dragged America out of bed and to breakfast at the same donut shop he had visited the day before. This time, the coffee would be hotter and the donuts fresher.

“I’m excited to get home,” America said as she shook the excess powdered sugar from her pastry onto a white plate. “As fun as this trip has been, and it has been pretty good, I never want to take a road trip again.” She rubbed the side of her bum indicating there had been too many hours spent sitting in a car.

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