“It’s been a long day,” I say, stilling the motion of my hands. “Are you tired?”
In response, Allie shifts herself in my lap until she’s sitting astride my thighs. She rocks slowly, bringing the heat of her right over the stiffened length of my cock. She’s looking down between our bodies, watching herself move against me with hooded, heated eyes.
An inch. Maybe two. That’s all it would take. If I shifted even the smallest bit, I could be inside her. One thrust and I’d be swallowed completely by the pulling, wet heat of her cunt.
“Allie,” I rasp. “We shouldn’t.”
That stops her immediately. Her body goes still and her eyes snap up to meet mine. “You don’t want to?”
“It’s not that.” I hardly recognize the sound of my voice. Guttural, half-lost to the undeniable urge to take her, rut her, fill her completely.
“Then what? It’s what we’re supposed to do, isn’t it? There’s no chance of the magick being renewed if we don’t even try.”
What we’re supposed to do.
If anything could have banked the flames of desire pressing outwards under my skin, that would be it. Painfully, I rest my hands on her hips and move her back a few more inches.
“If that’s the only reason you’d have me, I think it’s best we stop now.”
“I’m willing,” she insists. “I consent. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to try to fix all of this.”
The words are right, but the sentiment is… abhorrent.
Even for the sake of my entire realm, I can’t take something from my mate that’s not freely given. The thought of everything we’ve shared up to this point being colored by obligation, coerced by the magick of the bargain and the Tithe, makes me feel physically ill. For the first time, I understand Allie’s dismay at learning we were mates. The idea of her sharing her body with me, submitting so sweetly, taking and giving pleasure with me and to me, all of it being driven by anything other than her own desire and attraction, is unimaginable.
Removing her gently from my lap, I stand and stretch my wings behind me, above the water.
The blinding guilt and shame follow a moment later. I can’t look at her, can’t stomach the idea that she’s felt forced this entire time. Turning around, I brace my hands against the side of the tub.
“Has all of it—” I start, needing to pause and swallow around the tightening of my throat. “Have you wanted any of it? Or has it all been… been…”
I can’t make myself say the words, can barely make myself even think them.
“Eren,” Allie whispers. “No,no.”
There’s a shift in the water lapping at my back, a gentle splash as she moves toward me. And then she’s there, right there behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist and pressing her lips to the center of my back, between my wings.
“I wanted you,” she says in a voice edged with tears. “Iwantyou. Tonight, yesterday, even back in the woods when I first saw you.”
A flare of relief, immediately tamped down as I wait for her to continue.
“That’s never even been a question. But everything else—the magick, the bargain, the mating bond—I can’t make sense of it. I feel like I’ve cycled through every possible emotion I’m capable of feeling these last twenty-four hours and I’m just… struggling to sort through any of it.”
My answering purr comes unbidden. It’s not one of pleasure, or even of contentment, but a soft noise meant to soothe and comfort my mate.
A sound I’ve never made before.
Allie melts into the sound, presses herself more deeply into me, and I let that purr comfort us both.
One day. I’ve known my mate one day and already she feels as vital as the air in my lungs. I turn and tug her into my arms.
“Little witch,” I say against the top of her head. “It’s getting late. Come.”
I lead her from the bath, pat us both dry, wrap her in a soft, warm robe, and take her hand. The fire in the bedroom has been stoked high, the floor strewn with even more of Allie’s beautiful, fragrant rose petals. As she sinks down onto the mattress, I take a few steps away from the bed until she sits up and lets out a small noise of protest.
“Where are you going?”
“I was going to put on some sleep clothes. Unless you’d like me to sleep elsewhere tonight?”