Page 23 of Nora's Kraken

It would be the perfect opening to share something about my last relationship, to relate to him on some level deeper than the small-talk we’ve made so far, but I balk. I grab a piece of pizza and take a bite, and even though it’s more delicious than any slice I’ve ever had, it doesn’t take away the slight shame of chickening out.

“Bertrosa’s,” Elias says when he sees my reaction to the food. “The smallest little hole-in-the-wall place, but some of the best pizza I’ve had on this side of the Atlantic.”

“And on the other side of the Atlantic?”

That launches a discussion of the merits of European cuisine over American, and a few small glimpses into the depth and breadth of life Elias has lived.

Outside of movies and TV, I’ve never seen any of the places he talks about.

Not London, where he was born in the early 1700s, or Paris or Rome. Not the various spots he’s sailed around the Caribbean and through the Indian Ocean, details he gets strangely hesitant to dive into when I ask what he was doing in those parts of the world.

Maybe the pirate thing wasn’t all that far off.

The idea is absurd, and yet, when I look at him I can still see it. The roguish glint in his eye, the accent that speaks of faraway lands and adventures. It also makes it all that much harder for me to believe he’d have any interest in me.

What do I offer in comparison?

When it comes to conversation, not much. And even though I’m well-aware I’m avoiding the openings Elias gives me to answer questions he asks about me, preferring to turn it back around to him, he doesn’t press.

Despite how well the evening has gone so far, and despite how open and kind he’s still being, I feel some of the nerves creep back in the longer we sit here.

Damn it, Nora.

This is what I didn’t want to let happen. But every time a question comes up that might veer toward my past with Daniel, or to the small, scared life I’ve been leading for the past few of years, I just can’t. Can’t speak, can’t elaborate, can’t give anything but half-answers or non-answers that make me feel more and more self-conscious.

And that’s not even mentioning the fact that Elias seems… great. Well spoken, well traveled, smart and witty.

“So,” I say, still mulling over everything he’s told me and feeling more confused and uncertain than ever. “Even after all the years you’ve lived and the places you’ve been, there hasn’t been anyone else you considered as your… mate?”

The word still isn’t easy to say out loud.

“No, Nora,” he says softly. “There hasn’t been. And there won’t ever be.”

My throat tightens.

There it is again, the reminder I’m not just some average woman on an average first date with an average, albeit extremely handsome, man. The reminder that none of this is casual for him, and that I’m in far, far deeper waters with Elias than I can even begin to comprehend.

It scares me. All of it scares me.

Not only because he’s lived more life than I can imagine, and that he lives in a world so completely different from my own.

What scares me more than anything?

The way he still looks at me. Attention fixed solely on me, studying me, unable to completely hide the threads of possession I saw that day at the Bureau, even though I can tell he’s trying to mask it.

Struck with the sudden need to get out of my chair, to fidget and move my legs, I stand from the table and cross the domed space to stand in front of the wall of glass, looking out into the tank. Various fish drift by, and the rippling movement of the water casts the entire room in a hypnotic blue glow.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Elias’s soft voice is the only warning I get that he’s come to stand just behind me, and when I whirl around, he’s right there. His brow is creased in concern, blue eyes searching and thoughtful as he waits for me to answer.

“I don’t know how to feel about all of this.”

“Which parts?” he asks gently.

My laugh is shaky as I try to think of where I should even begin. “Well, I suppose we could start with the wholematesthing and go from there.”

“Would it be so bad?” he asks, voice low and soft. “Would it be so terrible to have a male devoted to you completely? One who wanted to take care of you and always ensure your safety, one who only wants to see to your peace and happiness?”

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