Page 90 of Kenna's Dragon

Blair is still standing there, silent and stoic and studying my expression. Neither of us speaks for a few long moments, but just as I open my mouth to reply, he cuts me off.

“That wasn’t what you think it was.”

It takes a couple of seconds for the words to sink in, but as soon as they do, my temper doubles.

“Yeah, right,” I say, and my voice comes out bitter and cold enough that it surprises both of us. “I think you were pretty damn clear about what you meant.”

I don’t know what I expect. More arrogance, maybe, or more excuses. More of that inscrutable dragon’s certainty, his power, the way he’s always been the one to decide for the both of us.

What I don’t expect?

The devastation. The way Blair’s head bows forward and his expression melts into pain and regret. It sends me reeling, but only until he speaks again.

“I can explain.”

For a terrible, heart-wrenching moment, I almost give in. To his pain, to the immediate instinct that makes me want to soothe him, help him, hear him out.

To Blair, who’s shut down every single suggestion that things between us are anything more than casual, then acted in ways that have left me feeling so confused and unsure of myself. Who’s burned so hot and then left me out in the cold with no explanation whenever he doesn’t feel like I’m owed one.

This has gone on too long. I know it’s gone on too long. I’ve felt too much for him, fell too hard for him, and that’s on me.

But that doesn’t mean he’s blameless, either.

Whatever the fuck he’s feeling and whatever reasoning is going on in that dragon brain of his that’s made him act the way he has, that’s on him. I’m done excusing it.

“Fine,” I tell him, feeling the last of my sympathy burn away. “Start explaining.”

36

Blair

“Start explaining.”

Where can I even begin? My mind is still racing with the implications of my conversation with Elias, the shame of Kenna having heard, and the panic that’s quickly rising over the hard, flat look in her eyes.

I still don’t know how to process it. I don’t know how it can be possible. And as I stand here and watch my mate retreat further and further into herself, I don’t know how to fix any of it.

I must be silent long enough to crack some of that ice she’s shielding herself with, because a few moments later she lets out a ragged breath and turns away from me.

“Or I can just go,” she snaps as she takes a couple of steps away. “If it’s going to be like this. If you still can’t fuckingtalkto me after everything we’ve—”

“Kenna,” I call after her. “My ember—”

“No!” She whirls around to face me, and there are tears shining in her magnificent eyes. “Not your anything. Remember? You made that very clear from the first day we met.”

“That wasn’t… I made a mista—”

“Don’t say it. Don’t you dare.” Her tears are spilling over now, running down over her full cheeks and dripping from her chin. She swipes at them angrily with the back of her hand. “You don’t get to fucking do this, Ewan.”

Ewan. What a luxury, to be called by that name. After so many years, it still makes my heart ache to hear it said aloud.

And when Kenna says it? It scorches my very soul.

“I’m done,” Kenna continues, wiping away the last of her tears. “With you. With all of this. I’m done.”

“Please,” I try once more. “If you would just—”

“No.”