Page 37 of Monsters' Manor

Is that something he needs? Something I can’t give him?

And what he said about there being someone in his past who might have been that anchor for him, someone he talks about with longing and regret…

Suspicion whispers at the back of my mind, and though it might not be the time or place to ask, the question slips out before I can stop it.

“Was it Renwick?” I ask softly. “Who you thought might be your anchor?”

A long, weighted silence precedes Silas’s answer. “Yes, it was.”

A few more puzzle pieces fit together. All that tension. The way everyone around here seems to know there’s history between them.

“Why wasn’t he?”

For a second, I think Silas won’t answer. I’m sure I’ve crossed some sort of line and pried where I have no right to. But a moment later he sighs and wraps a shadow around my hand in a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t know why he wasn’t. And I also don’t know who was more broken up about it—me or Renwick.”

I try to tighten my grip on the shadow curled around my hand, but my fingers sink right through.

“Does it bother you?” Silas asks. “That he and I used to be involved?”

I shake my head. “No, it doesn’t. Everyone has exes. And I can… see the appeal. I guess. If you’re into sarcasm and arguing as foreplay.”

Silas huffs a sorrow-edged laugh. “Believe me, I of all people know how charming and infuriating the demon can be.”

We lapse into silence again, at least until another question I probably shouldn’t ask slips out.

“Could I be your anchor?”

Silas’s voice is gentle, laced with more regret. “It doesn’t work that way, darling. It’s not… a choice. The bond between shade and anchor is something that springs up all on its own. Some strange magick we’ve never quite understood.”

“So, it still could? I could still be that for you?”

Silas is silent long enough for me to hear the answer without him having to say it.

No. It can’t. I’m not. Whoever his anchor is, it’s not me, and it’s not Renwick. And continuing to ask him about it is probably more hurtful than anything else. I open my mouth to apologize, but Silas speaks before I can.

“It’s not anything you need to worry about,” he murmurs. “And nor do you need to limit yourself or feel… tied to me in any way. While you’re here at Edgar’s Acres.”

I frown in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, if there’s anyone else you’re involved with here. Someone who can give you more than I can, enough to—”

“Don’t say that about yourself. You’re—”

“Forgive me. I misspoke. What I meant is, don’t deny yourself any part of this world, Rosemary. I know you have a choice to make about whether you’re going to stay, and I want you to explore all possible reasons you might have to make it. One way or another.”

A hundred questions bubble up on my tongue, but I’m not able to put any of them into words.

Does he mean Renwick? Does he think the two of us are… no. I’ve made it clear what I think about the demon. Someone else, then? DoesSilashave someone else?

I think about the freedom I’ve seen amongst the Acres’ staff and actors, the casual relationships and partnerings that seem to change with each new phase of the moon.

Maybe it’s just… different here. Or maybe having something committed and serious isn’t what Silas wants, not when his anchor might still be waiting out there for him somewhere.

But putting any of those thoughts into questions would sound too much like making accusations.

We barely know each other, and I don’t even know if I’m going to stay.

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