At the cave’s mouth, I pass Halla headed in to work the evening’s first rotation, and give her a grim nod. She returns it, brow furrowed and eyes darting over my face as she takes in my expression. As we walk off in our separate directions, I can almost feel her looking over her shoulder, eyes burning a hole in the back of my head.
But I don’t turn. I just keep walking and brooding, sinking deeper and deeper into the tangle of my thoughts.
Joan. The village. The thief. The mines.
My responsibilities here and her life in her realm.
The thorny, unresolvable mess of it all. A problem I can’t think through or solve, something fate may not even be able to—
“Rhett?”
I’ve almost made it to the first ring of homes on the outskirts of the village when Joan’s voice pulls me out of that spiral. The group of miners I’m walking with are silent, exhausted, the lot of us nearly asleep on our feet. Even so, all it takes is that one soft word from her and the evening seems lighter.
There might be a few eyes on us as she spots me, as a smile splits her face and she makes her way toward me, but I couldn’t care less. As the rest of the group moves on, eager to be back to their own homes and beds and loved ones, I open my arms to her.
Joan lands against my chest with a light thump, and when my arms tighten around her, something inside me shifts and clicks into place.
On any other night, I would call it a blessing.
And surely, it’s still a blessing tonight. Here, now, with twilight fading to night and a soft wind rustling the trees above, with stars keeping watch as the breath in Joan’s lungs and the beat of her heart slowly become one with mine, all of this is still a wonderful impossibility. A Goddess-blessed miracle.
But it’s also a reminder of the things we haven’t decided, a tantalizing promise just out of reach, a taste of something that might turn to ash on my tongue.
Like she can feel that seed of discord settle itself in my gut, Joan pulls back a few inches.
“Heading back to the village?” she asks, nodding up the path where the last of the miners disappears around the corner of a building and toward the main square.
I shake my head. “No. I was heading home.”
Home. My home. Not hers. And barely a home at all, with its bare walls and sparse furnishings.
But fuck, does it feel brighter when she’s in it. And though it makes me a coward, the idea of having her there again—in my bed, and in my bath if I can convince her for a repeat of what we shared last night—sounds infinitely better than continuing to lose myself in my grim brooding over just how tenuous all of this is.
“Alright,” Joan says, taking my hand and tugging me forward. “Let’s go, then.”
We could make our way back through the center of the village, where a large fire is likely lit and demons are gathered for the evening meal and commiseration. It would be faster to go that way—straight through, rather than along the outskirts—but I steer us down the quieter route, away from any prying eyes.
“How has your time with my mother been?” I ask as we walk.
Joan huffs a soft laugh. “It’s been good. I’m not sure I’d make it full-time in a kitchen Alva was running, though.”
I let out a small, displeased grunt at that. “I can talk to her. Tell her to ease up. Or, if you’d rather, I can find somewhere else for you to—”
Joan squeezes my hand and laughs again. “It’s fine. Really. I’m just teasing. And honestly, after running my own place for so long, there’s something kind of freeing about working for someone else. Even if it means I’m right back in trainee mode.”
Her eyes go distant as she speaks, like her mind is back in Beech Bay at her shop, and guilt tugs at my conscience.
“She’s… she can be a lot, at times.”
“She’s great,” Joan assures me. “Really.”
When I glance over, her smile is warm and genuine, and I return it. “I’m glad you think so.”
We walk for another couple of minutes in companionable silence before she speaks again, the tone of the conversation turning with her next question.
“What about you? How are you holding up?”
“It will all be worth it,” I say, trying for more certainty than I feel. “When all of this is sorted out and things are back to normal, when life gets back to the way it was, all of this will be worth it.”