It will be fine, moving back in here. I can do it if I have to. It will be an adjustment, sure, but there’s no reason I should be having such a viscerally negative reaction to the idea of packing up and driving off and leaving Boston behind.
It will be fine.
Iwill be fine.
If only I could make myself believe that.
I step to the bed and sit down, doubling over my knees and resting my head in my hands. I take a few deep, steadying breaths, at least until the sound of footsteps from outside snaps me back to the present.
“Ophelia?” Cas leans into the van, brow furrowed in concern.
His expression lightens when he sees me, only for those furrows to immediately reappear as he takes in the way I’m sitting and what I’m sure must be a pained, hopeless look on my face.
The sight of him almost knocks the wind out of me again.
Here, whole, so devastatingly handsome as he looks me over in concern.
“Hey,” I say weakly, trying to offer a smile as my heart slams into my ribs. “How did everything go with the covens?”
He shakes his head slowly. “We can talk about that later.”
I sit up a little straighter, ignoring the way my whole body aches to stand and wrap my arms around him when he steps the rest of the way into the van.
Did I think it was small before?
With Cas in here, too, there’s barely any room left. The shell that’s held my life for so many years suddenly seems comically tiny, much too small to hold everything it is now, everything it might become.
“I can make this work.”
“What?” I ask.
“The van,” Cas says, like it’s obvious. “If you’re in here because you’re packing up to leave, I can make it work, living here with you.”
My heart stutters, then kicks back up in deep aching beats that make my throat constrict and my stomach flutter like I’ve swallowed sunshine.
“And you think I’d just let you move in?” The words come out shaky, edged with equal parts tears and laughter.
“Well,” he says thoughtfully, examining the small set of cupboards above the kitchenette. “You went right ahead and moved into mine, so I suppose it would only be fair of me to return the favor.”
“Cas,” I say hoarsely.
“Or I can purchase one for myself and follow you from place to place, if you’d rather have a space to call your own.”
This time, all I can do is shake my head and give him a wobbly smile.
“Or…” he says, trailing off as he takes a half-step closer and curls a hand around my jaw.
I lean into the touch. “Or?”
“Or perhaps you’re tired of running. Perhaps you’d like to rest here a while. With me.”
Unable to help myself, I stand and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back, lips pressed to the top of my head as he murmurs into my hair.
“So how about it? Can I convince you to stay?”
“What would I be, if I did? What wouldwebe?”
He leans back so he can meet my eye. “We would be together. Now. Always. We would be together.”