Page 20 of Holly's Grizzly

Probably.

Maybe.

But if he keeps looking at me like that…

At first I thought it was just concern. I thought it was just him checking to make sure I wasn’t still messed up six ways from Sunday from my dunk in the river, or about to grab my gear and sneak out because I’m so entirely hopeless at accepting help when it’s offered.

The longer it goes on, though, the more I’m not so sure. All those lingering glances that cut away as I turn to look, the heat I’ve caught in his eyes more than once, the way it seems like he’s deliberately trying to keep himself at a distance.

And covered up, unfortunately. Even though the glimpse I got of him shirtless this morning was enough to remind me I didn’t hallucinate how hot he was when he saved me yesterday, and I really wouldn’t mind getting a little more of that view, it doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me.

Nope, Irving’s been a perfect gentleman, and I absolutely, positively, shouldn’t want to see what he’s like when he’s not being so polite.

I shouldn’t want to ask him if I could join him up in his loft tonight. I shouldn’t suggest bunking up together so the two of us could keep warm, cuddled up under the blankets, skin-to-skin with the fire crackling and—

Down, girl.

I should know better than this. I should leave it well enough alone and not press the issue.

Maybe Iamstill messed up from my near-miss with hypothermia. Maybe nearly freezing to death rewired something in my usually cautious brain. It flipped a switch that has melusting after my big, burly, bear-shifter hero when I absolutely shouldn’t be.

But then I catch Irving looking at me again.

We’re both sprawled out on the sofa in his living room, not doing much of anything at all, when I feel the telltale prickle of eyes on me. By the time I look over he’s glanced away, staring at the embers glowing in the hearth from the fire he rebuilt this morning.

The damage is done, though, and all my nerve endings are lit up again, all my bells and signals flashing a bright red ‘oh yeah, he’s interested.’

I wonder if Irving’s single.

There’s nothing around here that hints he’s got a girlfriend—no product in the shower, no hair tie he could lend me—but that doesn’t mean anything. He could have a boyfriend, for all I know, or someone long-distance.

But that question is just one more I shouldn’t think about, so I choose a different topic.

“Is this weather keeping you from any Christmas plans?”

Irving looks a little surprised, like the thought hadn’t occurred to him.

He shakes his head. “Not really. I sometimes stop by my buddy Vic’s house for the Yule party he throws, but that’s about it.”

“No family gatherings?” I ask, immediately realizing how prying that question is, but Irving doesn’t seem to mind.

“Nah. My mom’s up in Alaska and she doesn’t travel much during the winter. Dad died when I was young, and most of my other family lives spread across the back-country of the U.S. and Canada.” He shrugs. “So holidays are never really a big deal. You?”

“Same,” I say, trying for the same level of nonchalance. “I have some family out east I don’t get back to see much. And thelast few years I celebrated with Cody’s family since they’re near Seattle, but… well, that obviously wasn’t an option this year.”

Irving nods, brow furrowed and a familiar spark of brooding irritation in his eye. The same one that was there when I told him about Cody in the first place.

It’s just one more mark in his favor, one more thing to feed my little crush.

We talk a bit more about how we’ve spent holidays past, from the typical Christmas tree and Santa years of my childhood to the years he’s traveled up to Alaska to spend a couple of weeks in near darkness close to the Arctic.

The conversation is easy, meandering, woven through with comfortable silence as we sit and chat and lounge the morning away.

After a particularly long lull, Irving rubs a hand on the back of his neck and looks over at me, his expression a bit chagrin.

“Sorry about how boring things are up here.” He nods toward the well-stocked bookcase at the side of the room. “Feel free to grab something to read, if you’d like. Or I could try to dig out my old laptop if you wanted to find a movie to watch on Netflix or something.”

I think for a moment. “You mentioned last night you have a shop where you do your woodworking. Can I see it?”

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