Page 133 of Shadows of Stardust

S: Over with? You’re not excited for the Choosing?

R: Oh. I am. Um, I mean, just ready to, you know. Get on with it. Get off-world and on to the rest of my life

S: The rest of … your life? Or yours and Zan’s?

R: … Sorry. Yeah. I… that’s what I meant.

S: It’s alright. Do you need a minute? Maybe we can start over.

R: Yeah, Sella. Yeah. I think I’d like to start over.

I can’t believe I said that.

I can’t believe I almost asked Zan to…

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sitting in the living space of Juni’s bungalow, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to face the Choosing. My makeup is done, my dress is on, and I’ve even completed my final interview with Sella.

All that’s left is to face Zan.

To end the game we’ve been playing. To finish the storyline we’ve been selling.

One last mission.

I don’t know what exactly to expect from today. When Zan and I face the cameras, face Geeno forcing us to declare ourselves or end our relationship, one of us will be asked to go first. One of us will have to say yes, or no, and a pit opens up in the bottom of my stomach at the idea of having to make that call.

But it doesn’t matter.

None of it matters.

We’ve known from the start how this was going to end, even if I forgot for a moment.

This morning was a mistake. Thinking of a future for us beyond the Eritin beach was a mistake. Letting myself feel more than I should was a mistake.

And now it’s time to fix it.

A soft knock on the door proceeds a tentative Sella sticking her head in, eyes widening when she spots me.

“Roslyn,” she breathes. “You look…”

I stand, smoothing my hands over the front of the dress I chose for today. The color of starlight, a pearlescent golden silver, it shimmers and shifts with the shrug of my shoulders.

“I look alright.”

Juni and Sella both chuckle.

“Ros, you know you look amazing,” Juni says, crossing the room and giving me a final once-over, checking to make sure all the artistry she helped me accomplish today will hold up under the eyes of the hovers and the billions of viewers who will watch the next few minutes play out on comms screens all across the sector.

“All set?” Sella asks, a bracing smile on her face.

I nod, give Juni a parting hug and a quiet promise to be in touch after all this insanity ends, and follow Sella out the frontdoor to where a hover platform similar to the one that picked Zan and I up for our date waits for us.

From there, it’s a quick trip up the beach, past the end of the line of bungalows, around a rocky point that juts out into the cerulean Eritin ocean, to a strip of private, secluded beach.

“It’s just up the path,” Sella says. “Zan will be waiting.”

She gestures to a small, sand-scattered path through a tree-break, and I steady myself with a deep breath before heading down it. I’m flanked by no less than a dozen hovers, but at this point they barely phase me. I just concentrate on getting where I need to go without stepping on the delicate hem of my dress.

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