Page 134 of Shadows of Stardust

Each moment passes in stops and starts, like photos in an album that I flip through, not really living them myself. I’m just an observer, detached.

I think that’s the only way I’ll survive this.

Through the trees, another section of beach stretches wide. It’s flanked by a steep, greenery-drenched cliff-side and ringed by towering palms.

It’s beautiful, dramatic, the perfect place to end a love story, if that’s what we were actually dealing with here.

Even more beautiful is the Revexoran waiting for me.

There’s a small, raised platform half-way up the beach, decorated with an abundance of lush florals and a wooden archway that looks suspiciously like something that would be included in a human wedding ceremony.

Zan meets me at the foot of the platform, taking my hand and helping me up the stairs.

We take our places by the arch, hovers still capturing every vivid detail, when Geeno appears. He steps up to stand with us at the arch with his familiar, polished confidence and showmanship. He launches into a short monologue about our journey, our love story. I have to stop myself from catching Zan’seye—I’d either break into a fit of giggles, or start crying. I’m not really sure which at this point.

I can barely bring myself to look at him, even when Geeno finishes his spiel and finally gets to the point. Zan’s grip tightens around mine, and I still can’t make myself meet his eye.

I focus on our clasped hands instead. The long, elegant lines of his fingers almost completely engulfing mine. The strength of his touch, an anchor that’s held me steady through this whole insane process.

Hands I could imagine holding me steady for the rest of my life.

“Roslyn,” Geeno’s deep, resonant voice snaps me out of those thoughts.

Oh, god.

He’s going to make me go first, isn’t he?

He’s going to make me end it.

“Do you accept Zandrel as your Mate Match?”

I do meet Zan’s eyes, then. That familiar black, as fathomless as looking into the endlessness of deep space. That silver, swirling starlight waiting and waiting and waiting for me to answer.

“No.”

Geeno audibly gasps, and maybe when I have a few more spare braincells to process what’s happening here, I’ll feel some kind of satisfaction at being able to surprise the unflappable host.

But right now, all of them are occupied.

Zan’s grip tightens for a fraction of a second before it relaxes. His shoulders fall, and the silver in his gaze goes duller, somehow, but I don’t know how to read his reaction.

All I know is that this was inevitable.

All I know is I was always bound to leave Eritin alone.

Savvie doesn’t need me, and Zan doesn’t need me, either.

They’ve both fought hard for the lives they’ve chosen, the futures they want to live, and now maybe it’s time for me to do the same.

I wrap my arms around Zan’s broad shoulders and lean in close enough that I hope the mics can’t pick up my whispered words.

“Good luck. With everything. I know how much good you’re going to do for all those kids. I know it will be worth it, Zan.”

When I pull back, his face is stone. The galaxies in his eyes swirl deep and dark and unsettled, and it’s not until I turn to leave that he finally speaks.

“Ros.”

I’ve never heard that tone from him. Hoarse, broken, almost fragile as I toss him one last smile over my shoulder.

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