Page 143 of Shadows of Stardust

“It’s the reason I left service.” Steeling myself, I uncurl my useless defenses and tug the strap of my shirt aside. “A nastylittle attack in the Merixir system. No fatalities, but I didn’t exactly make it out unscathed.”

“When?”

I’ve charted the timeline a hundred times in my mind, trying to figure out how it all went so badly wrong, so the answer is immediate.

“Just about the time things went to shit here for you. Give or take a few days.”

She inhales, quick and jerky, eyes still making a study of the scars and flowers and constellations that mark my shoulder and upper arm.

“I like the tattoos. What do they mean?”

In quiet, halting tones, I tell her. At least a little. It’d take days, maybe weeks, to recount all the stories that went in to choosing the designs, but I can at least give her this. A look at where I’ve been, a look at the time I spent away just trying to do my best for her, whether or not it amounted to anything at all.

When I’m done, she sinks into the chair across from me.

“Alright,” I say with a shaky exhale. “Enough about me. Did you come here by yourself?”

She snorts. “I know you only met Arrik once, but believe me when I say there’s no way in hell he was going to let his pregnant wife travel through multiple jumpgates and galaxies alone. He’s waiting downstairs, doing a pretty convincing impression of all the meatheads that used to swagger around this neighborhood, I might add. He thought I might want to talk to you alone.”

“Thoughtful of him,” I say with a laugh. “How pissed was he that you made him come all the way here?”

She laughs, too. “Pissed isn’t the word I would use. Out of his mind with worry, maybe, but also more than aware I wouldn’t lift my foot once I’d put it down. Sending all of this in a comm didn’t feel right, and seeing you on my vidcomm screen every week doesn’t cut it, either.”

I groan. “Don’t tell me you’re watching.”

“Oh, I’m one hundred percent watching. You were… really something, weren’t you?”

“Don’t remind me. Most days it feels like I’ve got a billion angry viewers doing enough of that in the tabloids and comms networks.”

“They aren’t your biggest fans, are they?”

I drop my head to the tabletop and groan again. “They absolutely fucking hate me.”

The reaction to the latest season of Mate Match has been swift and definitive. The final episode aired this week, and though I couldn’t stomach watching myself say goodbye to Zan, I’ve seen some of the discourse that’s followed.

Safe to say, I’m no one’s favorite contestant.

And while I’ve already spent my fair share of time angsting about it, there’s something delightfully absurd about being here, with Savvie, discussing something as entirely mundane as a vidcomm program.

I tilt my head to peer up at her. “How much you wanna bet that hate follows me all the way to Terra Spei?”

“That’s where you’re going?”

There’s a smile on Savvie’s face, but it trembles a little at the corners.

“Yeah, that’s where I’m going.”

A few silent seconds pass. From the alley below, the engine-fire whoosh of some reckless joyrider echoes between the buildings, followed by a few irritated shouts.

“What’s it like?”

I fish my comms screen from my pocket. “Here. See it for yourself.”

The faint reflection of vast green forests and rocky coasts shines in her eyes as she flips through the images, filled with humans making a new life for themselves in this little haven.

“It looks wonderful.” She hands the tablet back.

In another life, I’d beg her to come with me.

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