Blankly, I stare at her, mind whirring in sluggish circles, attempting to ascertain what her aim is here, how terrible an idea this is, how I should respond.
Apparently not in the mood to wait for me to comprehend her simple, straightforward offer, Ros disappears into the bedroom.
I sit, dumbstruck, for a few more moments before I stand—silently cursing myself and my inability to listen to reason for one single moment—and follow her.
25
Roslyn
Despite the no cuddling rule, I unfortunately wake up very much cuddling my fake boyfriend.
Sprawled across his chest,droolingon him a little for fuck’s sake, I hurriedly wipe my mouth and attempt an escape before he can wake and realize exactly what position we’re in.
Only, as soon as I try to move, I’m pinned in place by a heavy arm wrapped around my back, tugging me closer as a deep, sleepy, satisfied rumble echoes in his chest.
Oh, god.
Why do I like that so much?
I shouldn’t. I absolutely shouldn’t like it. I shouldn’t be tempted to give into that silent invitation, snuggle closer to him, stay here and doze the morning away until we’re both awake and ready for an encore performance of what happened out in the living space last night.
Just that bare reminder is enough to send memories flooding back in.
All of that… really happened, didn’t it?
The scorching kiss on the beach. Zan pushing me up against the door, setting me on the counter, falling to his knees and…
A flush breaks out over my whole body.
And that’s even before the images of whatIdid tohimflash through my mind.
They come back in little bits and pieces. The stiff length of his cock pulsing and insistent in my hand. The sounds he made when I put my mouth on him. The strain of his muscles when he came.
The moments right after still feel like a hazy, half-forgotten dream. Coated in bliss and floating through my memory, it takes that flush and makes it swimmy and warm, so damn tender that a saccharine ache takes up residence just behind my breastbone.
I never would have expected Zan to be capable of that kind of gentleness. And I never would have expected just how easy it would be for us to slip into that place together.
Effortless, natural, at least until reality had to rear its ugly head.
Maybe things went too far.
Maybe all of it was too much.
Maybe we both should have pretended it never happened.
I didn’t need to invite him to bed with me after. And I definitely didn’t need to end up like… this.
Again, I try to wriggle away from him, and again, Zan keeps me in place. He’s still mostly asleep, and something about that—that even while he’s unconscious he wants to keep me close—does entirely unacceptable things to the bottom of my belly and something way too close to the center of my chest.
He did it last night, too.
Pulled me into his arms after he’d gotten off, when any respectable casual sex partner would have been just fine with some space. Kept me there when I tried to get up after seeing how freaked out he looked.
At least I think he was freaked out.
I don’t know.
It’s still a little hard for me to read his expression or know what’s going on behind that stoic, handsome face.