Page 17 of Beyond Repair: Part One

Chapter 13

Nina

Tingles race from the tip of my nose and through my upper lip, making the urge to itch incredibly agitating.

"Shh, sweetheart. Slowly now."

I feel my brows pull together as easily as I feel myself relax into my mom's lap. The tickles start on my forehead again and trail down my temples until it traces my ears.

"Mom," I murmur, unclenching my eyes as I come out of my panicked state. "When did you find me?"

She hums, her eyes damp with unshed tears. "Maybe five minutes ago. This was a bad one, Nina."

I nod as she continues to trace my features with her fingertips. She used to do this when I was little. Since coming home, it seems to be the only thing to pull me out of a panic attack without making it worse. I don't need deep breathing exercises or a cold shower. I just need my mom.

We study each other; me laying with my head in her lap and her looking down at me with so much love and worry it makes me feel guilty. Mom frowns and parts her lips before closing them again. I wait and when she whispers, "Do you trust me?"The hesitation in her voice forces me to remember there were people here for me.To take me away?

My breathing picks up and before I realize what's happening, I'm sitting with my knees pressed to my chest. "Who's here?"

"Nina. Do you trust me?" Mom's voice sounds firm, like she knows something awful I don't.

"Please. Don't let them take me away," I croak brokenly. Her mouth opens again but I rush on. "No, Mom. I'll do better. Don't let them take me."

I want to stay. I want to stay.I want to stay!I won't go back! I don't care if it's the basement or the institute. I won't go!

"Stop, sweetie."

She reaches for me, but I bury my head in my knees, crying and begging for her not to give up on me.

"Trevor. Henry. Ridge and Kai."

My breath catches. Those names...

Trevor, Henry, Ridge, and Kai.

Their names...

"All four of them are here."

Here? Why are they here?

"Because they want to see you," she answers my unspoken question. "They've missed you, sweetheart. We reached out to them yesterday and said you were okay."

I'm absolutelynotokay. I'm rocking back and forth on my butt in a small closet under the stairs with my mom trying to calm me down like a wild animal.

"I know we all agreed to wait until you were ready, but Nina...It's time."

It's time. It's time. It's time. I HATE that statement. What about whatIthink about my time? I'm not ready. I'll neverbeready because that part of my life is over. The happy parts are buried, and the bubbly parts of me they loved are broken.POP!Each whipping popped my bubbles that made me a joyful girl.I'm not ready and the guys are definitely never going to be ready to meet the new me.

"I think..."

Finally, I meet her gaze. "What?"

"I think they could help you," she says, but is that guilt I hear in her voice? "Sheesh Nina, I'm struggling here, okay? I wish I could keep you at home with me forever, but that would be so dang selfish of me. Encouraging you to grow and to explore the world again, explore who you are, that's what a mother is supposed to do."

If she cries, I'm gonna cry...

Sniffing, she quickly wipes her eyes before her tears can fall. "I want you to have support. I would love to be the only one you come to, but you're a woman now, sweetheart. An adult who needs more space to thrive. And those boys? They just trampled into this house because they love you so much. They will be good for you."

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