Page 18 of Beyond Repair: Part One

But will I be good for them?The answer isno, but if they're anything like I remember, the four of them are awfully stubborn. They will push and push until they get their eyes on me, then they'll see.

"Okay," I whimper quietly. The sooner I show them how broken I am, the sooner I'll be left alone.

Now it's Mom who hesitates. "A-are you sure? I didn't think you would?—"

"It's fine." Why can't I speak louder than a whisper? At least the guys will get the full brunt of my issues. Shuffling to the corner, I wait for my mom to push the cracked door open first so I can hide behind her.I never said I was mature.

Still half bent over, Mom turns and pins me in place with an intense stare. "If you don't want to, Nina, tell me. I'll kick them out with a frying pan."

I really don't want to.Smiling sadly, I shake my head. "Let's go."

I know she hates how little I talk, but telling her the truth would upset not only her but five other people as well. They want to see me. Mom wants me to see them, so I will. The most valuable thing I learned in my twenty-six months of captivity is that giving in is always the easiest option.

She eyes me for a moment longer, then moves to give me space to leave my nook.I don't want to leave. Panic threatens to send me crawling back inside and the suspense of the situation is only heightened by the pounding of the blood rushing in my ears.

Keeping my focus on my hands as I crawl, I try not to throw up. It's silent beyond the drums rattling inside my skull. Every ounce of willpower I have to keep moving forward dwindles with each breath I take.

A dust bunny swirling around my pinky finger soothes me just enough to take a steadying breath, and as I leave it behind to stand, I shift my attention to plucking at the fraying string on my shorts. My other hand goes to my chest in hopes that I can keep my heart inside if I press on it hard enough.

Don't look up, don't look up, I keep chanting. I love my open concept home, but right now, knowing everyone can see me makes me want to flee. Shifting to the left, I tuck myself behind Mom a little more as I try to gain control of myself.

My God...What is happening?! I can't do this. I CAN'T?—

An audible gasp makes me jump and cower. "Neen?!"

That nickname, the one my guys coined and always spoke with warmth. It draws me up and out of my body, leaving my fizzing veins of nervousness behind if only so I could get one look at the boy who comforted me through every bump and bruise growing up.

Henry.

Tears blur my vision, but not before I realize that he's no longer a boy. Just as I am no longer a girl.His girl. His Neen.Time robbed me of seeing him grow into a man.

Four years and now his black hair is longer but still incredibly disheveled on top of his head. He's pale and his freckles have faded with maturity. He's painfully beautiful.

"Henry!"I choke out, reaching for him,needinghim. But just as I planned, my body takes it upon itself to show him just how broken I truly am.

Darkness steals me from his embrace once again. My knees buckle and all feeling disappears before I feel the crash of my bones on the floor. Because that's all I am...skin and bones. Nothing to offer. I might as well be the dust bunny spinning in circles on the floor just waiting to be picked up and tossed out.

I'll be tossed out soon enough.

Chapter 14

Henry

Ican't believe I threw up in Nina's bathroom. Not because I puked, though, but because I'm inNina'sbathroom.She's here, she really is.

I saw her blur by the door and I swear my heart doubled in size, readying to accommodate her once again. Not that she hasn't been in my heart all this time, but because I'm ready to add to the new version of the girl we all loved.Love, present tense because no matter how she's changed, Nina will always be our girl.

Unable to hold in my groan, I bend over the sink and suck some water into my mouth from the faucet. Swishing a few mouthfuls around, I spit and wipe my face clean with the bottom of my black T-shirt.

For a moment I enjoy the air conditioning breezing across my ankles and bare claves. Even in April, the average in Provo is like sixty-six degrees Fahrenheit—shorts are a must. Getting sick and having so much anxiety breathing hot air down my neck makes it so much worse.

Nina's home helps cool the stifling feel of my failures, though. From the moment Will opened the door, the scent of my girl has tickled my nose. For years Kai has kept the smell of roses close, but nothing compares to the real thing: Nina. No candle, scent roller, diffuser, or air freshener can truly capture the pure essence that is Neen.

With one last tired look in the mirror, I take a deep breath. I know her dad has more to tell us and being scared to hear it won't change the outcome. I have to know what happened to Nina so I can help her. There is no universe or reality where I am not in her life.

We just found her again. She was never far from our thoughts and hearts. Now we won't allow her to be physically far from us ever again. We haven't talked about moving back to our college town, but it's obvious. We're staying with Nina.

The silence when I leave the bathroom makes my stomach knot uncomfortably.Are the guys waiting for me?Fuck, now I've forced them to wait.

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