Page 22 of Beyond Repair: Part One

Nina

I've been staring out my living room window for a long time now. I wish I could say I was relaxing and watching the day pass, but I'm not. This is purely another show of my anxiety.

Living at my parents’ house helped me feel secure, knowing I always had them there to keep me safe. I could lock myself in my room all day without feeling like I needed to keep watch around the house.

Here, I'm alone. My dad isn't my shield any longer. There's nobody to keep me safe but myself.

Mr. M is still out there and even if evidence points to him being near the Canadian border recently, I won't feel safe until he's no longer walking the earth. My safety relies on a monster's demise. I've long since given up wondering if that makes me a terrible person.

My neck pops as I shift on the recliner. With a groan, I close my eyes and stretch the stiff muscles that are giving me a headache. The burning sensation in my eyes makes me wonder how long I've been keeping watch. Instead of resting them, I blink a few times to focus back on my task.

Once locked back in, that's when I see them. Trevor and Ridge sitting in a truck in my driveway.I close my eyes for one dang second...This just reiterates the need to stay vigilant.

Through their windshield I watch as Trevor flails his arms and I have half a moment of curiosity before it fades away into a whisper of what could have been. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Trevor opens his door.

Immediately, my heart lodges itself in my throat and I bolt for my bedroom upstairs. Each slam of my bare feet on the hardwoods matches the thundering in my chest. Flying into my bedroom, I lunge for my dresser and quickly swap my shorts for leggings. My tank top is quickly covered with a sweatshirt in my closet and before I can think of what else I need to cover, the doorbell rings.

"Oh God," I whisper frantically, turning in a circle in hopes that my spotless bedroom will give me advice.What else, what else...what am I missing?My sweaty foot slides a little on the floorboards, giving me the exact reminder that I needed.

A soft knock downstairs jolts me into action. With a ball of socks in my hand, I sit on my bed and shamefully cover the smattering of scars on the soles of my feet.Yes, I'm so scarred and hideous that I can't even show myfeet.

Another knock.Dang persistent men...

As light as I can possibly manage, I leave my room and tiptoe down the stairs. If they happen to be walking away, I’d prefer not to alert them to me being close.No such luck.

"Neen?" I close my eyes as agony rips through me. "You in there?" Trevor calls through my front door.

"Trev, maybe we should?—"

"Shut up, Ridge. She's home, and I'll wait her out for as long as it takes."

I sigh, knowing Trevor won't give up until he at least accomplished what he came here for. With my next inhale, Iimagine all my protective layers settling into place. Some might imagine my shoulders going back and my chin rising in mock confidence, but I actually do the opposite.

With my hair tumbled forward shielding my face and my shoulders slouched forward to make me seem smaller, I unlock the door, then open it an inch.

I don't say a word, waiting for Trev to see that I am still alive and get him out of here fast. Obviously I knew he wouldn't just look at me and leave, but when he breathes my name, I startle before taking a step back.

"Nina..." Trevor whispers and steps toward me. I walk backward, scared, not necessarily of him, but of the way my numbness is rapidly disintegrating and forcing my feelings to the surface. "Say something.Please?"

The way my belly swoops and my eyes burn when I glance up at him doesn't surprise me; it's why I tried to go numb. I should have known I would be powerless to ignore the full force of these men.

"H-hi," I whimper, stepping back again as Trevor enters my home followed by Ridge, who's cursing under his breath while closing my door.

"Shit, baby girl," Trevor croaks. "I've missed you."

Logically, I think I knew that, but it doesn't matter. They grieved the girl they knew, and she's gone. Despite the warning bells going off in my head, I mutter, "You miss a ghost."

"I don't believe that for one goddamn second," Trevor declares in a scarily rough tone. I shrug. What else is there to do? We disagree. "Have you eaten today?"

Knowing I can't force them out of my house, I turn around and make my way to the couch. Soon they'll get bored and leave.

"Nina. Did you eat?" I glance at Trevor and wiggle my head in aso-sogesture. "So that's a no," he huffs and stomps to my fridge.

Turning back around, not wanting to see him frown at my ridiculously full fridge, I kick my blanket away and curl up on my side. I'm aware that my behavior shows that I trust them in my home, but that's not all there is to it.

First of all, I'm exhausted. Tomorrow is my fourth day all on my own, and I couldn't be more lonely. Even if I rarely spoke much with my parents, I never felt so trapped in my own head. The noises Trevor makes in the kitchen helps to drown out the voices in my head.

Secondly, Ridge and Trev won't leave until they're ready. They were always bossy when we were growing up, and Trev was more overbearing. Although, as Ridge slumps down across from me in my abandoned recliner by the window, I imagine it wouldn't be hard to get him to go away. He looks ready to bolt at any moment. Actually, he looks super angry.

---