Page 33 of Beyond Repair: Part One

Now's not the time to be getting any ideas, but watching her relax into us and our old dynamics makes my blood heat.Fuck, I missed her.

Sipping on her straw, she glances over her shoulder at Henry like it's the first time she noticed him. Henry smiles at her and tucks a wayward piece of her brown hair behind her ear. "Hi, pretty girl." When her eyes droop in response, he chuckles. "Rest, Neen. We'll watch over you."

My throat is thick with emotion, and it takes so much effort not to reach for her. Instead, I place my hand on my fiancé’s knee and try to settle the anxiety that's been wreaking havoc on my system for too long to be healthy.

After a few minutes of watching Nina, Trev replaces his ass on the coffee table with the bottle. "She needs to eat something when she wakes up."

With a final glance at her, he nods like he needs to convince himself Nina will be safe while he's in the kitchen. Trev knows, just as we all do, that she will never be alone again.

We're here, surrounding her with motivation to live and love. She'll be okay. No.Nina will be happy. We will make it so.

Chapter 27

Nina

Now that I've been forced to nap, eat, and hydrate, I'm beginning to realize my behavior earlier was an overreaction. But, gosh. Ignoring the demons that try to convince me I'm back there in hell is next to impossible. Especially when I have everything working against me.

Since Mom, Dad, and I spent the morning outside, the TV wasn't keeping the silence at bay when they left. I hadn't had a good night’s sleep in a while, so my emotions were right there for the taking. And take the demons did. Watching my mom and dad walk out the door before hearing their car drive away from me was a new kind of torture.

At least when I was taken, I was leaving them against my will. This time, maybe for the first time ever, they chose to leave me and I...I let them. Because begging for them to stay or chasing after them isn't something an adult should do.

They believe in me, but that doesn't matter when I don't believe in myself. I don'twantto live on my own. Breaking the barrier that prevents me from facing confrontation is one of the hardest things I've been trying to reverse.

I was whipped, hit, slapped, punched, and kicked whenever I opened my mouth while I lived with Mr. M because I had nothing to say beyond begging for my mom and dad. Pleading with the monster to let me go free ended in my first whipping. Swearing for the first and only time in my life resulted in a split lip and no food for four days. But alas, I needed to eat to have enough strength for my chores.

My chores. I wasn't joking when I told my mom that it's a good thing I know how to clean and cook. I did everything for that monster and got nothing in return. My skills are vast in a home, but, as my therapist would say, they weren't born of healthy intention.

Also, like she used to tell me,it's not about knowing how to survive, butwantingto survive.For a while there after my parents drove away, I don't think I wanted to survive.

Life without them down the hall or laughing at the dinner table is dull and scary. So when the locks clicked closed, and I was left in deafening silence, I cracked. Some days I believe I've shattered as much as I possibly can, other days like to prove me wrong. That was today.

Then something else happened; I handed some of those broken pieces to Ridge. Giving a few sharp ones to Henry was as easy as breathing air when he smiled down at me. Trevor stole a handful when he took charge, and Kai helped carry the scattered weight just by being near me.

"Nina?"

If I had a nickel for how many times someone says my dang name as a question...

"You okay?"

I would probably shrug if it wasn't Kai asking. Idoshrug but I add, "Define okay."

Ridge is playing his video game while sitting on the floor in front of me again. I really want to run my hands through his hair, but I don't think?—

Kai interrupts my thoughts as he collapses onto the couch a few inches away from me. "Like you could smile at me. That's how I would define it."

"Oh..." I murmur.Why did that hurt so much? Whenwasthe last time I smiled?"Sorry."

"No apologizing!" Trevor scolds from the kitchen, making me jump and grip my blanket harder.

I sigh.Trevor has so many rules, almost like—No!Trev is nothing like Mr. M. The rules he's trying to make me follow seem to only be for my benefit. There wasnobenefit to anything when I lived in that basement.

Different. This is different. Hopefully, if I keep reminding myself of that, my anxiety will lessen around them.

"Shit sticks on a fucking shroom bitch! UGH! NOOO NOT MY CAR!"

With each word Ridge bellows at his game, my eyes widen until a shocked laugh bursts out of my chest scaring me even more than Trevor's stern tone. Whipping around likeI'mthe car crash he can't help but watch, Ridge looks at me like he's never seen me before. That hurts too.My gosh, that hurts so much.

"Nina girl," he breathes with a growing grin. "I missed that sound."

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