Page 45 of Beyond Repair: Part One

I don't look at Trevor because I'm too busy finally processing who the heck I really am. The truth is sadder than the one where everyone thinks I've changed.

I haven't changed. I HAVEN'T CHANGED! I'm still here, just locked away like my body used to be. I want to be saved! I'm terrified to release who I really am, who I've always been, out of fear the truest parts of me will be beaten bloody all over again.

Chapter 36

Henry

Iwas worried when Nina wouldn't even pick up her fork. Now I'm fucking terrified. It's like she's lost in her thoughts, but the eerie part is her body is getting tenser by the moment.

"Trev..." I murmur, really wishing he would step in and tell us what to do. Ridge looks ready to jump across the table at her, my fiancé tries to coax her back to us with quiet words, and Trevor is staring at her intently.

A shuddering breath escapes Nina's lips and when her body goes completely lax, Trevor is up and out of his seat in a flash.

"Nina, damn it!"

Cursing, I jump up and watch as she all but tumbles into Trev's arms when he swoops in to grab her. "I got you, baby," he says.

Nina chokes out a sob that makes my heart crack as she clings to Trevor. "I haven't changed."

I barely hear the words she whimpers into his scruffy throat. Palming the back of her head, Trevor stands and carries her to the couch. Without letting go of Nina, he curls into the corner of the sectional and motions for us to sit close.

Kai and I settle on both sides of him and Ridge takes the floor so he can hold on to Nina's ankle. With a kiss on the top of her foot, Ridge snuggles in, but I can tell he's panicking quite a bit.

None of us like our girl feeling any amount of distress, but Ridge has a certain level of anxiety that I can't relate to. I'm feeling a coiled sensation of anticipation in my gut and my heart is pounding because I justknowthis might be one of the most important moments of our lives.

"What did you mean, baby?" Trevor pets the top of her head. "You haven't changed how?"

Her brown hair falls in waves down her back and I feel compelled to run my fingers through it too. With her seated on Trevor, she looks so damn small I want to wrap her up in a blanket. Twisting around, I grab her favorite blanket with fringes and tuck her in.

Sniffling, she glances at me with big, grey eyes and I swear my heart stops at the depth of her gaze. I think her soul is shining back at me because I see the girl I've always loved.

Thirteen-year-old Nina stomping her foot at us in the cafeteria when Ridge would tease her for her dirty shoes. Fourteen-year-old Nina in a dress on Easter, begging to be the one to hide the eggs for her cousins, then coming back inside muddy and sweaty. I see the sixteen and twenty-year-old Nina staring back at me too, begging for me toseethem.

Thisis what she meant. Every single piece of the girl we once knew is in there, reaching out with all her might. She just needs us to grab her hand and yank her into the light.

"Hi, pretty girl. I missed you," I breathe and run my thumb over her rosy cheeks. "I see you in there, so why don't you tell me what it is you really need to say, hm?"

I can feel the guys' confusion, but I pay them no mind. They know I've always been different...a bit more intuitive than would be considered normal. My focus isn't explaining myself, butcoaxing Nina to come forward and allow herself to shine like she so desperately craves.

"I..." Her bottom lip trembles, but she stays relaxed against Trevor's wide chest. "I still like softball," she whispers and blushes.

"Me too." I beam and tickle her cheek some more.Damn, she's gorgeous."What else do you still enjoy?"

Her lips twist, but after a deep breath she relents. "Going outside. Playing games. Being with you guys."

Ridge twists around on his knees so he can take her in. "What else, Nina girl?"

At that she shrugs and drops her gaze to her lap where she begins to twist the strings of the blanket around in her fingers. "E-everything." In a voice so soft she gives us the deepest part of her soul, "I'm still me. I'm just...afraid."

Kai grunts and wipes his hand over his face. It’s a sure sign that his emotions are getting the best of him. Tearing my gaze away from him, I tug on a lock of Nina's hair to get her to look at me. "Afraid of what?"

The look she gives me will be one seared into my memory forever. It's a look of pure anguish and absolute need to be helped. "Everything."

"Gonna need you to give me some more, baby girl," Trevor rumbles, tightening his hold around her waist.

She wiggles as if she's shaking herself out of the trance she was in. "What if...What if I get all of myself back, only to be broken again? Even if we piece me back together, I'll be even more fragile than I ever was before. I don't know if I'll survive another shattering."

I open my mouth to reassure her we won't let anything hurt her ever again, but she cuts me off with an angry little growl. "And what about this relationship you're proposing? It's only amatter of time before you leave me and I'll be left to pick up the pieces once you go home."

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