Page 48 of Beyond Repair: Part One

Nina

"Trevor?" My lip wobbles and I can't look him in the eye. Choosing to stare at my pair of black shorts and green tank top in his hands is easier. I don't want to see his first reaction to my scars. Sure they've seen my feet and bite on my calf, but what he's about to see?

"Yeah, baby girl?"

I’d like to tell him to look away and shield his eyes from the worst of my body, but this is my moment to lay it all out there. Their heated looks have ramped up in the past few days since I've begun sharing kisses with Ridge, and I really don't want our first sexual encounters to be ruined by my past.

Should I ask Trevor to watch?Then he'll see my butt, thighs, back, shoulders, and arms. The worst would be over.But I'd have to redo this another three times.

"Nina, look at me."

"You say that a lot," I grumble and force myself to look up at him.

He plopped me on my feet in front of my body mirror as soon as he got us safe and sound in my room. Kai tossed Trev mywater bottle and closed the bedroom door to give us privacy. I swear my heart was about to thud straight out of my chest and tumble all the way down those steep freaking stairs on the way up here.

Finally, I meet Trev's intense blue eyes. My breath catches when he steps into my bubble. "And I'll keep saying it until you feel comfortable looking at me all on your own. Now..." He bends so his face is aligned with mine. "Tell me what's on your mind."

I nibble on the inside of my cheek and fight the urge to look away. Similarly, I refrain from running my fingers through his dirty blond beard. I'm afraid if I do, I'll melt into a puddle of goo at his feet.

This is supposed to be a horribly terrifying moment for me, yet all I want to do is kiss Trevor. His lips look so firm.Would they soften if I lick them?Maybe I could soothe the permanent scowl he's suffered with since he was a boy. To my utter horror, he reads my freaking mind!

"Nina," Trev growls, "I'll kiss your lips swollenafteryou tell me." When I open my mouth in shock, he chuckles this rumbly sound that goes straight to my vagina. "You were staring at my mouth like you were going to eat it. Now tell me."

Shoot, his tone is no nonsense. Time to make a choice. Do I rip the Band-Aid off all at once or do I share this with one and ask him to help me explain?

Taking a step back from Trevor, I grab the hem of my long sleeve. "I-I need to show you all of it. But...could you help me with-with the others?"

His brows furrow and his lips turn down. "Help you with them how?"

"I—" I suck in a breath and force myself to look him in the eye while I face my fears. "He whipped me. A lot. With belts, ropes, anything really. Always on the back. So my thighs, my bottom, my back...even my arms got hit."

I can't read the look in his eye but my heart, which I thought was going to fall down the stairs a bit ago, is now firmly lodged in my throat. Who knows what he sees in my face, but his expression settles and he nods. "How can I help?"

Blowing out a breath, I lift my shirt in preparation. "Can you just warn them that I'm not...I'm not...."

"Nina, I swear to fucking Christ if you say anything bad about yourself, I will throw you over my knee this time."

My cheeks flush and my other cheeks clench...Is he threatening to spank me?! And why did that just send a thrill of pleasure through my veins?!

He quirks a brow. "Did my sweet Neen like the idea of getting her ass spanked?"

I say nothing, but I know my face is saying it all for me.

Trevor hums, his eyes like molten lava as he studies me for a beat longer. "I'll give them a heads up, okay?" I nod, grateful. "Good. Turn around and let me help you."

Inch by inch, he lifts my shirt. When my arms rise above my head, I begin to tremble with nerves and fear for how things might change. Fighting every submissive instinct in my body, I make myself watch Trevor in the mirror as he catalogues every white puckered line on my body.

Whether I'm blocking out the expression on his face to keep myself safe, or he's completely stoic, I can’t tell. But when his hot fingers trace a path down my spine, I shiver involuntarily.

I want to cuddle under my comforter and never leave.Gosh, how can he look at me?

"Breathe, baby."

At his whispered encouragement, I suck in a much needed breath. My sports bra covers most of my chest, but the silky thong he's about to see leaves nothing to the imagination. In an attempt to protect myself, I wrap my arms around my waist before I meet his questioning gaze in the mirror. I nod.

"Go ahead."

Trevor studies me for a moment before his thick fingers dig into the waistband of my leggings. My stomach revolts just thinking about what he's witnessing.

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