Page 13 of Objection

“Hey, Ma,” I almost whispered before crying harder, and I felt crazy by the outburst of emotion. I was so happy here in this moment with Kaos, and not being able to share that with all of my family made the moment bittersweet.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you . . . are you crying?”

“Y-yes,” I sobbed, wiping my face. “But nothing’s wrong. I mean, everything is really, really right.” Chuckling, I inhaled a shaky breath before sniffling. “I’m just sad because this is something I’d want to share with everyone but . . .”

She sighed. “I’m so sorry, Serenity. I thought your daddy would be over it by now but he’s so stubborn I don’t think he’ll get over it until you come back home.”

“I don’t think I ever will, Ma. Not to live there at least. I really love it in Rose Valley Hills.”

“And I’m happy for you,” she assured me quickly, “but . . . I wish I could see you more. You have to let me come see you.”

“Of course. I only told you not to come because I didn’t want you and Daddy to have issues because of me but I’d love to see you.”

“Don’t you worry about us. I love your father but you’re my baby. He can’t keep me away from you. If that causes issues between us, he knows how to fix them.”

I smiled and wiped the last of my tears. “How’s Taylor?”

Ma groaned. “She’s okay. She’s working like crazy and not doing much of anything with her life. You know she decided not to go back to school . . .”

“Oh no. I hate to hear that. I was hoping she wouldn’t let work keep her from going to college. You don’t think I—”

“It wasn’t because of you. She made the choice not to go to college, and honestly, I get why. She has a secure job for life at either the restaurant or grocery store. I just hate that she’s doing both.”

“Is something going on that she might not be telling you about?”

“I think so, but I can’t help if I don’t know what it is. It seems like ever since you left, she hasn’t been as happy. And I don’t think it’s because you left per se. I think it’s because she wants to as well but just doesn’t have the courage to. I think she feels obligated to stay and help because you left.”

“Maaa,” I whined, “that was never what I wanted. If I had to choose, I’d rather she leave and I stay. Please tell me you don’t really think that’s the case.”

“I do, baby.” Ma paused. “Taylor is spoiled, you know that. As long as your father and I are taking care of her, she’s going to stay here. She’s comfortable here, but do I think she wants to be here? No.”

“Do you think I should reach out to her? Last time we talked she was so dry with her responses I haven’t reached out since.”

“Yeah, I think you should.”

“Alright, I will.”

“Now . . . tell Mama what’s new with you.”

We continued to talk and I told her about my time in Greece with Kaos. She was just as excited and happy as I was. When she asked me how things were going to be for us when we got back to Rose Valley Hills, I told her I honestly didn’t know. I was okay with this version of us while we were away, but I didn’tknow how easy a relationship would be between us back home. Technically, it was against the rules for us to be together.

I meant it when I told Kaos that I loved my job and didn’t want to lose it for anything—not even a relationship with him. He’d increased my happiness and peace on this trip, the sex was amazing, and I loved how easy and carefree life had been with him at my side. I barely had to think let alone plan anything like back home. He took care of literally everything. I liked that and how we balanced each other out. But would that be a permanent change? I wasn’t sure.

Did I want love? Yes. Did I want a healthy marriage? Yes. Children? Of course. But romantic love was so fickle these days. I didn’t want to risk anything sure I had for something that may or may not last. Kaos was dedicated now, but would that always be the case? He and my job meant too much for me to risk. I wished there was a way for me to know 100 percent that he was the one for me and that we’d get married, have babies, and live a long, abundant, God-approved life. That security would have made the risk worth it.

When I shared that with Ma, she told me, “I learned something the hard way that I’ll share with you in hopes that it will make your journey easier than mine. For some, control is respect. It’s security. It makes it easier to surrender to something because control provides a safety net and confirmation that something will go your way. It’s okay to want control and clarity, but I also want you to remember what you truly are and are not capable of controlling.

“You might not be able to control your future with Kaos or anyone else for that matter, but you can control yourself, your choices, and your reactions to others. I would suggest you do whatever makes you happy, baby. If that’s being with Kaos, be with him. Don’t deny yourself now out of fear of what may or may not go wrong in the future. If that man is how you’vedescribed him, I don’t think he’ll let anything pull you away from him easily when he finally gets you. Rest in that.”

“Thanks, Ma,” I mumbled, trying not to get emotional again. She’d said exactly what I needed to hear . . . as always.

At Sunset

We’d officially scratched everything off my Greece bucket list. We’d just finished a sunset horseback ride on Black Sandy Beach. What made it even more special? Kaos had a private dinner and wine tasting set up for us at the end of the ride. I had to quickly excuse myself so he wouldn’t see me cry. Most men never put forth this kind of intentional effort with me. I’d share with them desires and dreams and it always felt like a conversation topic that never led to anything else.

I couldn’t think of too many times, if ever, where I expressed something I wanted or liked and Kaos didn’t provide it. This trip had been no different. While I wouldn’t say every relationship of my past was toxic or bad, quite a few of them were. It wasn’t until I started to learn the way men operated that I started to figure out how to navigate relationships with them and limit the damage done to my heart in the process. After Mario, I didn’t even want tothinkabout meeting someone new and trying to love again. The risk of pain was too often attached to something that was supposed to be beautiful. But with Kaos . . . I was starting to think maybe it was possible to be with a man who liked me, valued me, wanted me, and was willing to do whatever it took to keep me and keep me happy.

Love was starting to feel less like a fairytale.

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