Page 31 of Objection

“Nah, that’s taken care of,” Kaos answered.

“When can I expect marriage and babies?” Claudia wondered.

“Whoa, Ma.” Kaos laughed as he sat upright and wrapped his arm around me.

Truth was, I did want to marry Kaos and spend the rest of my life with him, but I had hesitancy about marriage. It had nothing to do with him, and I didn’t want my past and issues that came from my parents’ marriage to taint what we had. I’d shared with Kaos how I felt about marriage and children, and he seemed to be okay with it. That wasn’t a truth I wanted to share with everyone, but I didn’t mind being open with his family.

“It’s okay, Kaos,” I said.

“Nah, you don’t have to—”

“If you’re uncomfortable discussing that, please don’t feel obligated to,” Claudia granted.

“It’s not that. It’s just . . . complicated,” I replied.

Kaos took my hand into his and kissed it. Against my ear, he whispered, “You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. I know where we stand, and we’re good.”

His validation gave me the courage to stand in my truth.

“I do want marriage,” I confirmed, “but it’s not something I’m rushing toward. Truth is, my parents’ marriage wasn’t the best example of what I should aspire to. I’m still working through some things, and Kaos has been helping me with that.”I kissed his hand as my eyes watered. “So, I can’t say for sure. I guess whenever he’s brave enough to ask.”

“I would ask right now if I knew you’d say yes,” he replied with a smile.

“Wow. My son is really in love,” Claudia said with tears in her eyes.

“Been a long time coming.” Adam beamed.

We talked for about another hour or so before Kaos and I left. He wanted to make sure the whole marriage and baby talk hadn’t ruined my mood, but I assured him that I was okay. I had a really great time with his parents and saw myself getting close to them both.

“I didn’t embarrass you, did I?” I asked, half teasing on the ride back home.

“You could never.”

“Still . . . I know most moms start planning the wedding as soon as their son brings a woman home. I hope I didn’t disappoint her with my answer.”

“Your answer was your right and your truth. Even if she was disappointed, which she wasn’t, it doesn’t matter. You told me right after we committed to each other how you felt about marriage, and that’s all that matters. We’re on the same page.”

I nodded and released a shaky breath, thankful that he still accepted my position and respected my wishes. I did want marriage, but I’d seen too many couples end things because they outgrew each other or fell out of love. Stopped putting in the work or cheated. Even with my own parents, they were honest about how things changed after they got married. Mama became a shell of herself to a certain extent and gave up her dreams to be a wife and mom. She worked at the store and restaurant because that was my father’s legacy, but she had always wanted to be a singer.

She gave that up for a small town life with the man of her dreams, just for him to cheat on her and never give her the life she deserved. Well past it now, Mama made her peace with the life she’d made for herself, but that wasn’t good enough for me. I think that was another reason why I was so adamant about leaving Jasper Lane. After finding out about his infidelity and Mama’s unfulfilled dreams, I became even more determined to live for myself. To choose myself.

I knew one day I’d be brave enough to marry the right man who showed me life and my heart would be safe with him. That he’d encourage me to become new versions of myself as I aged and never dim my light. One who would value me and what we had to never risk losing it with stagnancy or infidelity. We may not have been together long, but I believed Kaos was that man. I just didn’t know when marriage would be in our future.

“I’m gonna ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me,” I told him, and we turned slightly in our seats to face each other.

“Wassup?”

“Are you really okay with my stance on marriage? I don’t want you to feel like you’re settling by being with me.”

The left side of Kaos’s mouth lifted into a smile. “I’m not settling at all. I want marriage, a healthy marriage, and I will have that . . . with you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I know your fear about marriage is because of other people’s failures. That ain’t got shit to do with us. When I earn your trust enough for you to believe in forever with me, I’ll propose, and you’re going to say yes.” He leaned forward, hand wrapping around my neck to pull me closer. “And you’re not just going to say yes. You’re going to be secure in our union. We’re going to have beautiful babies who will be inspired by our bond. And all the trauma from your childhood won’t haunt you anymorebecause that little girl inside of you will be getting all the unconditional love, affection, validation, and support that she needs.”

My tears fell so rapidly. So unexpectedly. “You always know exactly what to say to keep me from spiraling.”

“That’s my job.” He wiped my tears with a lazy smile.

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