Page 112 of The Nightblood Prince

But I also thought of all the times when Siwang had held me when my heart was heavy with fear of the future and hate for the towering red walls that kept me prisoner.

All the times he’d broken his father’s rules and snuck me out to see my family because he knew how much I longed for them. All the times he’d held my hand and wandered the night markets with me, ate sugared candies until our teeth ached when he didn’t even like sweet things.

When I thought of my childhood, I thought of the palace, I thought of loneliness and fear and rage and sorrow…and I thought of Siwang. My single ray of light. A boy who’d do anything to make me happy. A boy who loved me so much it used to terrify me to no end, because what if he didn’t loveme,but the prophecy?

If this was the fate that awaited me, then I’d rather not have it at all.If I was to give myself over to love only to have my heart broken, then I’d rather not love at all.

“Neither of you is worthy of my hand in marriage,” I said, my voice trembling. I swallowed and let the arrow go a moment too early.

It hit the mark, but not the center ring. I blinked away the tears in my eyes.

“Not bad,” Yexue said, though that smirk said otherwise. I wanted to slash a knife across his perfect face.

“You did that on purpose,” I accused through clenched teeth. He had felt everything I had just felt. He knew the effect those words would have on me.

“You have your advantages, and I have mine.”

I laughed.

“When will I be worthy of you, then?” Yexue asked while he toyed with the arrows in his quiver. “What do I have to do for you to justlookat me, give me the chance Siwang has never earned? Do I have to kill him to make you forget him? Because if so, I’ll do just that. Whatever it takes for you to care about me just half as much as you do him.”

With that, Yexue nocked an arrow and fired.

Bull’s-eye. I was officially losing.

“I’ve only ever wanted three things in life, Fei.” Yexue kept talking as he moved closer; my pulse grew faster.

Focus.

I nocked the next arrow and forced my heart to calm. I would not make the same mistake twice. I would not let what he said get to me. I’d already had one misfire. I couldn’t afford another. If I hit the bull’s-eye this round and got him to make a mistake next round, I could still win this.

I would win.

I had to.

For Luyao. For all the soldiers on both sides of this war. All the innocent lives that had yet to be ruined. For my family, our little village, which was currently too close to the front lines for comfort. And most of all…

For Siwang.

I won’t let you die.

“My mother’s love, my father’s acceptance, and to live as bravely as you. These were the three things that I wanted,” Yexue continued. “I never got the first two, but I’ve been reaching for the third since that night in the cave. I want to be worthy of you, Fei. Be it by earning it, by trickery, or whatever else. I’m not going to give up.”

He leaned in once more, and I felt the coldness of his breath fanning my cheek, my neck.

Focus, Fei.

“Maybe I’ll use my wish on you after all. Because if I can’t have you, neither can Siwang.”

“If you use your wish to chain me to you, then you’re more despicable than I first thought,” I hissed, setting the bow and arrow down. “If you won’t give me peace and quiet to finish the game, then what’s the point of playing?”

Yexue’s face darkened. “The next time you jump in front of a blade to protect him, or beg me to save the life of another man, I’ll show you how despicable I can be. He’ll sacrifice you for power, Fei. You get only one wish if you win. Will you use it to save Siwang, or have me sign the peace treaty?”

My heart went still. “If he dies because of the injuries you gave him, that treaty will be meaningless.”

“Choose one.Peace, or him?”

Perhaps Siwang was right, that Yexue really was a monster after all. Still, I said, “I would choose the treaty.”

---