My stomach grumbled, finally. From the moment I’d woken up until now, I had not had even a single drop of water, let alone anything to eat. It was a miracle my stomach lasted through the emperor’s lengthy accusations without protest.
Siwang put a hand on his father’s arm. “Let Fei have something to eat first. She must be hungry.”
The emperor huffed. With a wave of his hand, a silent permission to rise was granted.
“Fei, Minister Lifeng.” Siwang helped us up, making sure to hold me steady when my legs quaked under me, my head dizzy from the sudden movement. “Here.” He guided me toward the table and pushed forward a plate of red bean cakes.
I took one bite, then another. They were sweet and soft, and my stomach rumbled for more, but I paced my bites.Each bite must be small enough to swallow at a moment’s notice in case your father or husband calls upon your attention.Lessons taught by the palace ladies. I fought the urge to shove the entire thing into my mouth and chew with my mouth open out of spite.
This was not a time for rebellion.
“How many people know about this?” The emperor’s attention shifted to Siwang.
“No one outside of this tent. Not anymore, at least. The only people who knew Fei was missing were the guards who went into the mountains with me.”
The soldiers Yexue had killed.
The emperor nodded, pleased, then turned his attention to Father. “What about the maid who found Fei’s room empty?”
No.Father tensed under the emperor’s attention. “Your Majesty…”
“Have the maid and everyone she might have told killed before sunset. If anyone asks, when Siwang ventured into the mountains to capture Lan Yexue, Fei followed because she was scared he’d get hurt. She got lost and was cornered by the Prince of Lan. Luckily, Siwang saved Fei.”
“No, please! They didn’t do anything!”The words came so suddenly I almost didn’t recognize the sound of my own voice.
“The palace ladies have already instructed the maid not to say anything, Your Majesty,” Father interjected.
“Have them killed as well. Everyone who might know anything about that night needs to die,” the emperor replied. “We must protect her reputation at all costs. A couple of lowly maids are nothing in the grand scheme of things. To be on the safe side, we should hold Siwang and Fei’s wedding as soon as possible.????,long nights are often fraught with dreams.The longer we wait, the more problems we will run into.”
“Father,” Siwang protested. “We’ve talked about this. Fei and I are—”
“This is for your own good, son. If we wait any longer, we’d risk more incidents like this one. You cannot let the prophecy fall into another man’s hand.”
I hated it when the emperor spoke as if I weren’t a real, breathing person with a beating heart and feelings andears.
I took a deep breath, gathered the courage I’d been saving for the last seventeen, almost eighteen, years. It was now or never. If I wanted control over my own life, or even the slightest essence of freedom, Ihad to do this. Regardless of the cost. “Your Majesty, are you not curious about why I went into the mountains that night?”
The emperor’s eyes sharpened when his attention fell back to me, as if irritated by the remembrance of my existence.
Just like the maid whose life he’d carelessly forfeited with just a few words, I was a mere pawn in his eyes. My only value was that string of words uttered seventeen years ago under a cursed constellation, and the phoenix’s mark between my brows that had become a symbol for his military campaigns.
“I went into the mountains to hunt the Beiying tigers,” I confessed after the pause.
The emperor forced a smile, feigned amusement. “Look at you, not yet Siwang’s wife and already thinking of ways to honor me with your filiality. No wonder the gods chose you to be the empress of all empresses.”
“No.”I choked. My heart hammered against my chest like a frantic dove, willing to break every bone in her body and paint herself bloody if it meant she could soar the cerulean skies one last time. “I didn’t do it out of filiality, Your Majesty. I did it to break my betrothal to Siwang.”
Originally, I’d planned to do this before all the high-ranked officials, hoping some of them would think of their own daughters and support me in my fight to seize my destiny. If I didn’t make a scene, the emperor could easily sweep this under the rug, paint the request as a girl’s cold feet. However, a private disobedience might be safer than a public disobedience right now.
The emperor would never let a girl speak to him so brashly in front of the court.
“You want to break your betrothal?” The emperor let out a low, chilling laugh. “You want to break your betrothal to Siwang…?”
Without warning, he grabbed the ceremonial sword at Siwang’s hip and drew the blade from its sheath with a screech.
“Father!” Siwang cried, reaching for the blade without thinking.
The emperor pushed him away, still laughing.