Page 54 of Her Vicious Angel

I sat on a train and as it started I realized I was assuming Andrei would try to come after me. I felt a tug in my belly as I concluded there was no way he could find me. I’d never talked about St. Xenia’s to him or anyone else in the family. I’d never googled it. It’s just in my dissertation.

The train was the right one and the ride was uneventful. I looked around at the other late-night passengers, wondering what they would think if they knew I had come from a Bratva compound. Would they be frightened? Disgusted? Would their bellies clench with desire if they knew what Andrei had done to me?

I was lost in thought when suddenly I found myself at the stop for St. Xenia’s.

I got off the train, my stomach in a knot. The snow began to fall as I walked up to the nunnery.

It looks just like it did in the pictures, smooth creamy buildings and shiny golden spires.

I knocked on the door tentatively, looking around nervously.

Logically, IknowAndrei doesn’t know where I am. But I can’t help my skin prickling with fear.

* * *

The next morningI was summoned from the dormitory bed I had been given late on the previous night to talk to the nun in charge of newcomers.

“I want to be a nun,” I told Sister Elena.

She was a handsome woman in her 50s, with a fine, strong face.

She looked pretty goddamn skeptical.

“Indeed?” she said. “Let’s see how you feel after a month.”

“I will still want to be a nun!” I said indignantly.

“Give it a month as a postulant,” she said. “Let’s see who comes for you.”

Then she handed me a simple black robe and a black veil to put on. I took them gratefully. They are simple but well-made garments.

The robe is so long it almost comes down to my ankles and I can’t put the veil on properly. I try to stuff my wild curls under the dark veil, but they spring out uncontrollably.

Andrei would hate this clothing on me.

Good.

* * *

After eating with the Petrovics,St. Xenia’s food isn’t very good.

Also, I am beginning to have serious doubts about my new vocation as a nun.

At night, my body burns for Andrei’s touch. OK, at night, in the morning, in the afternoon, and basically all damn day long.

I think these damn nuns know exactly what they’re doing, too. I think they know I’d make a shitty nun so they’re not making it too fun.

I scrub the floors, the toilets, and the chicken coops, and try to forget about Andrei. But every time a cold breeze brushes through my naked legs my body aches for him.

29

ANDREI

Iget the call just as we are packing up for home. It’s Frederik. It’s almost certainly Frederik because I’d kill anybody else who brought me this news.

“Cerise is gone,” he says.

I am scrubbing the blood from my knuckles. Some of the Nemov family’s rivals gave up information to me easily. Some did not. They all did in the end.

---