Page 41 of The Catcher

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Em I swear to god

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Where are you

Get back here

You are going to be so fucking sorry when I find you

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17

Two weeks later I was sitting in my group art therapy classroom, the sun slanting lower in the sky as I put the finishing touches on a collage.

“Really wonderful job!” I told Francisco as he presented his collage proudly to me. “I see you have iguanas, a very fancy red sports car, and two demon bears. I like it, very creative.”

“Look at mine,” Sarah cried, pressing hers into my lap. It was still very sticky with glue, and I held it gingerly but with affection.

“What do we have here? Lots of unicorns, I love those! An otter and a dolphin, very good! What’s this?” I turned the collage slightly sideways. “Ah, a baseball player.”

It wasn’t Tanner, but itwasa player from the Phoenixes, probably from a few years ago.

I gave her an encouraging smile, ignoring the sharp stab to my heart I felt seeing their uniforms again, and I clapped my hands. “Five more minutes!” I called. “Let’s clean up our stations.”

I got up to put away magazines, paper, scissors, and glue, so much glue. I looked out the window, rubbing my eyes a bittiredly. I hadn’t been sleeping very well and I needed a cup of coffee.

I glanced down at my phone, feeling the same sick anxiety I did every time I’d looked at it for the last two weeks. One of the first things I had done after I left was get a new number. Tanner didn’t have my new number. But no matter how many times I blocked his accounts on Instagram, he was still finding a way to contact me. I hadn’t heard from him yet today and, rather than being relieved, my stomach still twisted with anxiety.

Maybe he had finally given up. I hoped so. I could barely eat.

I heard a firm tap at the door.

“Ms. Finnegan?” Mr. Wagner, my boss and principal, called.

“Yes?” I said, twisting around.

“Can you come with me?” he asked, and his normally mild face looked stern. I began to feel prickles of fear.

“Can it wait?” I swallowed. “I’m almost done this group session.”

“No,” he said. “It can’t wait.”

And then Iknew.

Numbly, I told my teaching assistant to take over, and I left the room after my boss. The whole way down the hall to his office I tried to talk myself out of it.

It was something totally innocuous.

It was just some paperwork I still had to fill out.

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