And it was only a few terrifying moments before I heard him behind me.
“Get thefuckover here and let me bandage your arm up,” he ordered angrily.
“I’m fine, fine.”
“Get the fuck over here.”
I turned and walked back and instantly his hands were on me, cleaning my arm with an antiseptic that stung and stunk, and then wrapping the whole length of it up with gauze.
“I’m fine,” I repeated. “Just fucking fine.”
He carefully brushed the back of a rough knuckle down my cheek, then looked me all over.
My body heated at his hard-eyed perusal.
I didn’t know he could be so gentle.
“Why the—why the fuck did you do this for me?” I asked, wiping my cheeks.
“Mama, I want you to haveeverythingyou desire. And I know you love cute as fuck little mountain towns. You used to talk about living in the mountains senior year.”
“What if what Iwant is to escape you?” I demanded breathlessly, my eyes fixed on his broad midsection, not daring to look up.
“You don’t really want that,” Saul said.
“I want someone nice and sweet,” I retorted without thinking. “Like William.”
It was dangerous work baiting my jealous, violent husband but I felt reckless, wild, furious at William and everyone else for betraying me, acting like it was all real.
But he only chuckled.
“No you don’t,” he laughed. “Your little cunt wouldn’t do shit for a weakling like him. You’d be dry as a fucking cactus. Now pick me a switch.”
“Excuse me?” I yelped.
“You heard me. Pick out a switch. You ran away from me and hurt yourself on purpose. That’s not allowed. You must be punished.”
“I will not!” I said, stomping my feet.
“I can’t believe for a moment I almost—”
“Almost what?” Saul asked, pouncing. “Say it and I won’t punish you.”
I tightened my lips, swallowed my words.
“Say it,” he hissed, looming over me, and I shuddered at the feel of those big rough hands.
Brutal and hard, it wasimpossiblethat I could feel anything for him.
“No!”
“Then go find a switch.”
But every one I found was wrong.
“Not big enough.”
“Not hard enough.”