All I wanted was, to be honest with her and tell her everything that was happening in my head. But there was no way I could say that. If I told her how much I wanted her, she would freak out and run away. I couldn't risk that.
Her gaze lingered on me for a moment before she shrugged and walked further into the room, looking around at my possessions.
"It's weird to be here," she said. "I thought you'd have more of a bachelor pad, but this is a family home."
"And what exactly is a bachelor pad?"
She gestured around vaguely. "You know, like the stereotype. Beer bottles everywhere, a leather couch, some sort of neon sign...something manly."
I leaned against the wall, watching her examine my bookshelves. I had no idea what she was looking at. Most of them were textbooks from college, and the rest were classics or books I bought on a whim. She pulled out a few and flipped through them.
"You can sit down, you know," I pointed out.
She turned to look at me. "I don't want to get comfortable. I'm just going to grab my things and go to bed."
The words shouldn't have hurt as much as they did. I walked behind her, not reaching for her, but close enough that she couldn't move without turning to me. "You don't have to. Go to bed, I mean. We could..." I trailed off, having no idea where I was going with the suggestion.
"Could what?" she asked, looking up at me.
"I don't know." I ran a hand through my hair. "Watch a movie? Talk? Something normal."
She let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "Nothing about this is normal."
"Maybe not. But we're stuck together for a while, so we might as well figure out how to coexist."
Nayeli looked at me for a long moment, her expression guarded. I wanted to touch her, to brush my thumb over her cheekbone, to tilt her chin up and kiss her. The bond snapped tight, urging me to take her into my arms, to pull her closer, but I clenched my fists at my side to keep myself in check.
Finally, she sighed and shook her head. "Not tonight. I'm...emotionally drained. And you look a little on edge, too."
I paused, considering her words, and then it clicked. This looming loss of control was because of the bond, I realized with a start. It'd been messing with me since the kiss, and I hadn't even noticed.
But if it was messing with me, it also meant...
"Fuck, Nayeli, are you in pain right now? Do you need me to touch you?"
Her smile was soft. "You're sweet. That's surprising. But no... the dance gave me plenty of physical contact. Just a little more before bed, and I'll be fine. I'm just exhausted."
I swallowed hard, barely able to ask the question with how badly I wanted her. "How do you want me to touch you, Nayeli?"
Her eyes met mine, and I knew that she knew exactly what I was asking. I could see it in the way she blushed. But instead of running away, she reached for my hands and brought them around her waist.
"Just this," she said, turning and pressing her back to my front, "is good."
We stood like that, swaying together in the middle of the room, and I could feel her soft breaths. The warmth of her skin. I buried my nose in her hair and breathed in the scent of peaches and the sea. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, holding her. She sighed in contentment, the pull of the bond easing for her, but it didn't let up for me. Touching her was supposed to help, but it just made me feel wilder than ever.
Somehow, I managed to let go of her when she pulled away and walked towards the guest room. I followed like a dog on a leash, thinking for one brilliant moment that she might invite me inside.
But instead, she paused at the door and smiled at me. "Good night, Scott."
And then she closed the door between us, shutting me out.
I stared at it for a long time, debating if I should knock on her door and tell her what I wanted. Tell her that I wanted her. That the bond was driving me crazy and that I needed her. I'd never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted Nayeli, and it was starting to consume me.
The door opened again, and Nayeli peeked out. "Oh, I almost forgot...what you said earlier, about how we're married now. I wanted to say that I'll help you with your pack duties until we figure out how to break this spell."
She closed the door before I could say anything, and I sighed.
It would be a long night.